I recently saw "Surf Nazis Must Die" and am terribly torn as to whether it is the worst movie ever or not. Previously, I thought "The Room" was beautifully horrible. But now... now I am questioning that logic.
Which reminds me I should really write up something about "The Room." But not now. Now it is the time of the Surf Nazis.
Surf Nazis think they're totally badass. But for some reason all they're capable of doing is spray painting really badly, putting puff-paint swastikas on their clothes and stealing stuff. Oh, and randomly killing people in pretty nasty ways (especially 'cause one Nazi has a hood hand. And he goes surfing while wearing said hand. Right...). Adolf, their leader, acts like a stereotypical gay man and people who appose him make fun of him for this. Until he has an awkwardly explicit sex scene with his girl in the first 20 minutes of the film. After that, it's just weird. Especially when he returns wearing a cape with a giant swastika on the back. I can't decided if I should be more offended by the symbol, the ideology they're trying to link to it, the fact that they may have no idea of the ideology it entails, or how tacky it all appears. It's probably all of the above, really.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the Surf Nazis surf (randomly, in wetsuits with more swastikas). It's like somebody wanted to make a movie about surfing and didn't know how, but also had this random anarchist subplot and tried to think of a really badass gang. And the most badass thing they could think of were Nazis. But they'd obviously never payed much attention during their history classes and had never been to Europe (especially Germany). Or they were trying to mock Nazis... and just failed. Regardless, this ridiculous hodge-podge disaster is worth watching. If only because I can't figure out what is exactly it's trying to accomplish. Or why anyone would ever think it was a good idea.
I won't give away the ending (yes I will - all the Surf Nazis die. Big surprise, right?) but I will give one last critique. If you're going to make a movie about Nazis, please learn what a Fuhrer is before you decided that you're main character is the Fuhrer of the new beach. Yes, I may be a bit obsessed with history. But such a painful insult to history and screenwriting that I can't help but think this movie is really the worst thing I've come across in a while. It is lacking the mesmerizing honestly of horribleness that "The Room" presents. But that almost makes "The Room" a better movie...
Ugh. You'd think it'd be easy to decide what's the worst movie ever. But it's just not that simple. To be decided at another time...
