Pride

So, for the first time I went to Minneapolis's Pride a couple of weekends ago. I have one thing to implore the city of Minneapolis: Why can't you be this warm and welcoming all the time?

http://images.stuffofawesome.com/minneapolis-pride-1309122003-1014.jpg

Really, people were so happy and delighted to be out in the bright summer weather, walking up and down Hennipen and talking to one another when most of the time walking down Hennipen results in people ignoring you or walking into whilst talking on their cell phones. Also, the mayor of Minneapolis rode down the street on a motorcycle. I think this should definitely happen more often. 

http://metromag.com

I was also at the Saloon's block party that evening (after getting terribly sunburned watching Italy win in the quarter finals of soccer/football/calcio on the rooftop of a pub in Minneapolis called the Brit) and was reminded of how short I am after being surrounded by guys all over six feet tall. I also met a guy from Canada who remarked on our voting situation this fall. Come November, Minnesotans are voting as to whether marriage is defined as a union between a man and a woman or not. The "not" refers to supporting gay marriage. So, basically, in order to support GLBT rights, one has to vote "no" which feels very, very bizarre. However, the man from Canada I was talking to found the whole idea of voting on human rights more bizarre. "They kept asking me to fill out these pledge cards," he said, "and I just couldn't understand the idea of voting on human rights. I mean," he turned to me, "that's like voting to allow women to vote."

This just in: Canadians are freaking brilliant.

Overall, it was a marvelous weekend. I also saw the movie Brave, which was fantastic (you can read a review of it on my sister blog, Martin Freeman is not a Hedgehog. Yep, that's actually the name of my blog. Weird, I know).

That Year

It's hard for me to believe that just a year ago, I was in Scotland right now (I include the above song because I heard it in a clothing store in Glasgow. Every time I hear this cover, I think of that city). And now, here I am, sitting on my parent's deck, having weird sensations of déjà vu, drinking a gin and tonic, worrying about things (as always), and watching postings come up on Tumblr about the BAFTAS (because, sadly, they are not live-streamed).

I just can't believe it was a year ago.

I've changed so much since then. I've gained and lost so much since then.

Yet some days it feels like it was just yesterday.

And now I miss it more than ever.

Which is why, shortly before the end of the school year, I decided that when I graduate I'm moving to the UK. Unless something un-forseen happens, I plan on finding a flat in London for next September, a city I haven't been to since I was sixteen and have missed ever since. I miss these places, in all honesty, more than I miss some of my friends. I feel like a stranger in my own hometown and, if song lyrics are to be regarded as philosophy, perhaps that means it's time to leave.

I guess I finally decided to post this today, thought I've been meaning to for weeks, because I've hit some sort of resolution. Some of my friends are no longer my friends. Bad things happen, whether you're here or there. It's your life and you should do what you want. And I want to go to London.

Although, goddammit, New York is trying rather hard to seduce me too. :)

The thing is, in one year I'll be leaving Minneapolis.  I love this amazing, brilliant city, but my heart is being called elsewhere. Somewhere I can easily take a cab, where there are so many opportunities to do things I never dreamed of, where I can have good reason to feel like a somebody and a nobody all at once. Minneapolis will always be my first real home, but I'm the sort of person that has more than one. And while I love New York, I feel my heart drawn across the pond for reasons I can't really describe. I just want to experience, long term, what it feels like to be a foreigner. I want to know what it's like to find oneself in a country you weren't born in. I want to make mistakes and sound funny and dream of improbable things. I want to have one of the largest cities in the world become everyday to me and yet never lose its magic.

I want to do something people didn't expect of me. Because I am more than one person's expectations. Maybe I'll be back in Minneapolis after a year or two, maybe I won't. Maybe I'll settle down in London, maybe I won't. Maybe I'll publish a book before I graduate and settle down in Chelsea and live in a posh little flat with a view of the Thames. Maybe I'll be broke and living in Kelvingrove Park in Glasgow. Who knows?

But let's find out, shall we? :D

Spring Breaking

http://www.eatmedaily.com/2009/02/saturday-night-live-im-on-a-boat-digital-short-video-snl/

I cannot believe it is finally Spring Break. I meant to write a post about my spring break plans (because I actually have some, for the first time ever) but I didn't get around to it until now. Considering I leave tomorrow, better late than never.

I am, somehow, going to Florida. Yes, Florida. My friend [uber gay] goes to school down there and, because I had frequent flyer miles left over (because, although I was supposed to have used them to fly to Scotland over the summer, I couldn't and thus still have had them lingering around) I'm able to fly to Florida mostly for free.

Probably why I didn't bring this up sooner is that I can't quite comprehend that I'm actually going. I mean, most people I know are, for once, not going anywhere on break. And I am. And I'm going somewhere tropical. Yes, I'll be staying in Melbourne, not Miami. And no, I don't think I'll be having crazy nights clubbing and drinking myself senseless (or will I?! No, seriously, I won't. I drink one beer and it's like I just ate a whole loaf of bread. I'm not much for wild drinking).

However, in honor of my trip, I would like to highlight a song for which I have deemed is the theme for the trip. So here it is:

Exactly. SPRING BREAK 2012!!!! WOOOOOT!!!

And just in case you think I truly am descending into a Bacchanalian revelry, I'd like to remind you who this blogger is. And that I've packed Frankenstein, Sherlock Holmes, a John Barrowman autobiography, and The Hobbit to read on the beach. The typical college student, I am not (or at least the stereotypical).

Ashamed

http://www.babble.com/

This article came rolling around on my Tumblr dashboard last night and before I even opened it, I had a gut instinct as to what it was going to be about.

I absolutely hate it when I'm right in situations like this.

Sure enough, this Rolling Stone article is talking about Anoka, Minnesota. A town that's only a half-hour away from where I'm sitting now. A town that's cute and picturesque and is the "Halloween Capital of the World" and has a really good restaurant called Serum's.

It is also now the most hated place in America by people I follow on Tumblr. Because nine teens have killed themselves there in under two years because of gay bullying.

Also, it just happens to be Michele Bachmann's district.

Think I'm mad? HELL YES.

Minnesota gets in The Rollings Stones. And what for? GAY BULLYING. IN A TOWN THAT'S ONLY A HALF HOUR AWAY FROM WHAT'S BEEN CALLED "THE GAYEST CITY IN AMERICA."

FUCK.

Ugh. I'm just so upset. Here I am, in my secure little college, going to the Saloon and the Gay 90s and feeling like a great ally and all this and then I read THIS.

It really, really bothers me. And, instead of just sitting here and blogging about it, I'm going to write a letter to Representative Bachmann. It may not make a difference - but it's better than nothing. Minnesota is better than this.

Why I Sucked At Being a Teenager

Somewhere, upstairs, God is laughing at me.

He has a right too. My exploits Friday night seem more like the plot of a teen comedy or an SNL skit than ordinary life. But it happened... oh, how it happened.

[mind ninja] decided to host a drinking game party at her house after the success of our holiday party. Originally, we were going to have her house to ourselves (her parents were going to be out of town for a hockey tournament) and she planned on playing a drinking game to Lord of the Rings. Except nothing went as planned.

[mind ninja]'s family didn't leave town - the hockey tournament got cancelled - and in fact, they ended up hosting a pizza dinner for the hockey team, who didn't leave until around 9 pm. [mind ninja] hadn't gotten the alcohol and wanted [foxy lady] or me to get it. But both of our IDs were invalid because we hadn't gotten the chance to update them since our birthdays were only a month and half or so past. Just as well - it's one thing getting alcohol for my own party. It feels wrong to buy it for someone else's. I just didn't feel comfortable doing it - but I didn't want to say that to [mind ninja]. It seemed like betrayal.

Mostly, though, I was peeved at the United States government. Seriously, I bought alcohol in a grocery store in St. Andrews, Scotland. I was able to bring it back in my luggage. But I can't buy one single drink in an American liquor store because I didn't request to have my ID updated three weeks before my birthday (because, apparently, you can do that, which I did not know. Nor does the Minnesota State driving guide book give any such helpful tips). So, American youths about to turn 21 - your ID expires DAY OF your birthday, apparently. You can still buy drinks with it (and confuse bartenders who can do math) but you can't buy anything from a liquor store. Sad day for me, walking into a liquor store for the first time without my parents and leaving empty handed and feeling like I'm about twelve. Fuck you, United States drinking laws - I behaved myself all those years and can count on one hand the number of times I drank under the age limit. And this is how you reward me. Thanks. See if I ever take your laws seriously again. (Just kidding, US Gov't... I have no plans on becoming a criminal or a traitor. Please don't put me on the no-fly list).

[mind ninja] and [Львица] were able to convince [novel killer]'s parents to buy alcohol after our epic fail. We ended up with way too much for the small group we had and somehow managed to sneak it into the house. I felt giddy about it, like a rebel, doing something dangerous (despite the fact that I was drinking legally). It was probably an experience many people my age had five or six years ago, back when they were still in high school. And I was just now experiencing it - as a legal drinker. When most kids were drinking in high school, I was staying at home, reading Jane Eyre, and watching The Daily Show. When they were having their first experiences being drunk, I was going to the movies, staying home with my parents and learning about my dad's experiences as a bartender. And while they drove home drunk in the wee hours of the morning, I was sleeping. I've never have been much of a night owl.

Even the Gleeks have party hard in high school... and they're supposed to be the un-coolest people in school (which reminds, me, I should blog about Glee). Not that I should be comparing my life to fictional TV, but this stung a bit. Apparently, I am so uncool the uncool people think I'm uncool. Think about it...

And now, it's not so much like I'm trying to play catch-up; I don't care about not having those experiences. Not exactly that I don't care but that I just had no desire to do that sort of stuff in high school and that not experiencing it was, well, no terrible loss. It's just that now, now that my friends and I want to have a party with drinks, now that we feel like it's something we're comfortable with, now that we're practically legal or are legal, it feels weird being in these situations. Wondering how the hell sixteen year olds got alcohol when we can't even buy it when we're 21. Trying to fathom how they got a whole case of beer in the house with no one noticing. Wondering how they actually felt like getting drunk because, after all that work, we all only had about one to three drinks apiece.

http://www.cartoonstock.com

Oh, things I missed being a non-stereotypical sort of teenager... I don't regret it, I don't miss not having these experiences. It just leave a whole lot of things to be wondered for me. Also I never got invited to parties... so, yeah. There's that. Personally, I think having these firsts now is incredibly more entertaining for myself. I'm more comfortable with who I am, I'm more ready to try new things. I'm doing it because I want to do it - not because of peer pressure, or to fit in, or anything. And there's that added benefit of comedic tension at out attempts to have these experiences now. Now that we're the anomalies for not doing this years ago.

Really, it's not so much that I sucked at being a teenager. I just sucked at living up to the stereotypes of the American teenager - which is a rebellion in itself, isn't it?

Ooh, we've got a badass over here... :P

I Should Just Become A Lobbyist

The time has come for me to continue my gauntlet-throwing. Unfortunately, I must attack Michele Bachmann. I'd say I feel bad about it... but I don't. Truly, she really needs to think before she speaks.

Thanks to the Advocate, I found out this article. Along with this video:

Yes. Michele Bachmann has once again wonderfully avoided answering a serious question. Rather than talking about her views on gay marriage, she just reiterates that gay individuals can get married as long as it is a woman marrying a man and a man marrying a woman, as that is the law in our country. It's also the most goddamn stupidest response I've heard yet.

Also, she doesn't even know what a GSA is. My God... I fear for the world.

Also, does anyone else get this weird vibe about her wording like she could be alluding to gay Americans not actually being citizens or am I being too anal about trying to out her as a nutjob? Because I'm really starting to loathe this woman. I respect you, no matter your political platform, as long as you show equal respect. This woman thinks she knows it all - and is totally, totally condescending.

Anyone else also concerned that people are actually APPLAUDING what she is saying?

And I'm not even going to try and tackle what she says in the second half of the video. It would be in all caps and it would only end in tears.

Here is what I think Michele Bachmann's problem is: I don't think she realizes that HOMOSEXUALS ARE REAL. It's like she's in denial that gay men like men and gay women like women. A gay man is not going to marry a woman because... oh my God, do I really have to describe this? WHY DO PEOPLE STILL HAVE A HARD TIME ACCEPTING THIS?! I mean, c'mon people - I didn't know homosexuality existed until I was thirteen or fourteen. When I did learn about it, it made exactly as much sense to me as heterosexual relationships did at that time (because then, I couldn't understand why ANYONE wanted to have sex, because after learning about it via sex ed, it sounded totally nasty. Thank you, public school health class). So there was never any inequality there in my mind. Ever. I just... I just don't get it. They're people... who love people. End of story. And people who need people are the happiest people in the world. Thank you, Funny Girl.

Here's a pictorial representation. Michele Bachmann is on the left. I am on the right.







So that's where we are on this whole issue.
And in other news....

Thanks to this blog I found this article about Chick-Fil-A totally not supporting gay couples. As you probably know, Chick-Fil-A is known for having deep religious ties (and not being open on Sundays). Now their charitable outreach group, Win-Shape, has come out and said they have deep anti-gay ties too. (Fun fact about Win-Shape: I was trying to remember why their name sounded familiar and I realized it was because of an incident I researched, involving an exorcism at a southern college, and that the kid who performed the exorcism was a Win-Shape scholarship recipient. So yay for that weird tidbit).

Guys, just... seriously?

What I want to know is, how is gay marriage different from inter-racial marriage? I mean, think about it... if you're for inter-racial marriage (and if you're not - ufta, that's gonna be a problem) then I just don't understand why you wouldn't support gay marriage. And the religious explanations... people do realize that the Old Testament sections were probably more focused on making sure they had adequate population growth than with men loving each other, right? The whole "men lying with men" was probably more of a problem because they wanted children to carry on their community and thus men not procreating was kind of a pain. And that the texts have been translated and stuff. And that God didn't sit down with a pen and write it... it was written by men. Also, if you take the Bible literally, you can't eat shrimp and you're cool with stoning people. And if you're really practicing what you preach, you believe that God loves everyone equally - no matter what. And that he makes no mistakes. So, yeah... Just saying.

Now that I've just ostracized myself as a heretic (you know, that's a word you don't here much any more - heretic.)... anyway, now that I am a twenty-first century heretic, I am going to consider becoming a lobbyist for the GLBT community. Because it would be fucking awesome. And I've already proven that I talk about this stuff forever. So win-win.

Blasphemy

WARNING: This is going to be a long blog. I'd apologize, but I think it's worth it. 

Today, I went to mass. Being the weird, semi-Catholic that I am, I for unknown reasons get the urge to go to church about the time Advent rolls around. It's a comfort thing, I think - looking for hope in the approaching winter, looking for a way to de-stress in the looming doom of finals. The hope that maybe, just maybe, I will have a break-through and everything about life will suddenly make sense. I also had an ulterior motive for going today - after several decades of using the same service, the Papacy decided that this weekend, the first of a new liturgical year, would be the time to premiere a new liturgy.

A quick word on the liturgy - it's the prayers the Catholic church uses, the responses the congregation says to the priest, the stuff that's based off the traditional Latin mass. I was aware about the changes, due to articles such as this and this. It's supposed to be closer to the original Latin wording, yet people say it's not a great improvement. But I tried to keep an open mind - I really did.

It totally sucked. Not just because everything I'd memorized over the last 20 years was kind of worthless now. Not just because it made the entire mass seem awkward. Not even because it the wording was poor and not at all the smooth, flowing prose I was used to. I mean, all of that could be fixed with repetition and getting used to the new words. No, I was mad because of all of the changes that the Church could be making, THEY CHOOSE THIS.

To add insult to injury, the church we usually go to, the Basilica of St. Mary's, did not have their usual pastor there (a very friendly fellow who, from the middle row of pews looks very much like Phillip Seymour Hoffman). No, we had a priest from Duluth, who had been there before and sang his praises about President Obama. That was very awkward then - Obama had just recently become president and won the Nobel Peace Price for unclear reasons. And Obama had nothing to do with the week's homily. I really don't care what a priest's political opinion is. But the homily - the sermon, the bit where the priest is supposed to connect the Bible reading to everyday life - generally shouldn't be a time for you to out your political platform for no good reason. This week, the visiting priest decided he should tie in the OWS protestors to the wait for Jesus to return. I didn't get it. At all. I think he was trying to make the argument that being supportive of the poor is not inherently Bolshevik or liberal and that questioning the way things are, the systems we're in, is something the Church has been doing for centuries, something Jesus did. And that's when I lost it.

For those of you who have never been inside a Catholic church, here's what the interior of St. Mary's looks like:

http://www.katiemoos.com/albums/blog/20080114/0012.jpg

Now, not EVERY Catholic church looks like this. But it's kind of a theme - you know, awesome splendor to celebrate the glory of God. It's part of the reason people Martin Luther decided to stop being Catholic and go and do their own thing - they got sick of the cognitive dissonance between what they were seeing and what they were hearing. "Yes, help the poor! Give them money! Go out there and support the OWS protestors. Bring them to our church and show them how great we are!" That was the gist of the priest's homily. What I see: marble. Gilded windows and altar. A priest who CLEARLY doesn't understand that the OWS protestors want nothing to do with the Catholic church - they most likely see it as another institution that's full of money and is not sharing it very well with the rest of the world. And if the priest supported the OWS people so much, why wasn't he offering to give the church's wealth to the poor? Why wasn't he out there protesting with them?

Because it's so much easier to talk the talk than walk the walk.

Religion comes easily to some people. I am not one of those people. I've had critical thinking in my life since day one - and because of that, I am overly critical about EVERYTHING. Have I doubted the existence of God? Yes, often. Do I believe in the kingdom of God? Bad question - it's recently occurred to me that I've never thought of God as a king. I'm American - the monarchical associations really don't set well with me (in fact, during mass, when we're supposed to bow during the presentation of the host, I thought to myself, I bow for no man! But I digress...) Do I think that, because the pope is supposed to be a conduit thru which God talks to us that he's always right? The man doesn't understand how condoms work - so NO (seriously, he previously said they spread AIDS. Check it out here). Perhaps it's not that religion doesn't come easily to me - it's that blind faith doesn't. Because I certainly don't have blind faith at all.

I cannot have 100% trust in the Catholic church because I disagree with so many things they do. They are hypocritical to the point of being painful. The priest up there today was talking about equality and I'm back there in the pews thinking about how unequal the Church is - how women can't be priests, how homosexuals are condemned, how until rather recently divorcees were excommunicated. The priest is talking about the important political issues he thinks that the Republicans are refusing to talk about while I know once, ONLY ONCE out of the several hundred times I've been to church in the last few years, I've only heard ONE priest (the Phillip Seymour Hoffman look-alike, actually) accept that: A) the Catholic church has a problem with pedophilia among their priests, B) this issue is a BIG DAMN DEAL and has been kept quiet, and C) something should be done about it. So go ahead and talk about issue that deserve better coverage - I'll keep in mind why you have no right to throw stones from glass houses. And of all the things the Church could have changed - rules about the celibacy of priests, rules about women being allowed in the priesthood, any of the number of huge issues  in the Church, they change the wording of the Liturgy. Really, guys? Really?

What made me saddest, I think, is looking around at the kind, sweet people around me, stumbling through the new Liturgy, doing their best to sing choral music, trying not to twitch as the Homily stretched past fifteen minutes, and realizing: THEY DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER. They deserve more than a Church that's on the divide - trying to keep old members and recruit new members at the same time. Trying to resist becoming modern by making changes to reflect the old Latin. Seeing change as something that is done for long-term, divine reasons, not for present, bodily circumstances. Preaching socialistic or liberal views while the overall structure is incredibly conservative and sovereign. Communism versus monarchy. Black and white. Forgetting that there are so, so many shades of grey in-between.

That's the problem with this divide in the Church - the priests are no longer preaching what the pope says. Which is great, I think - I mean, I totally believe that priests should be allowed to say what they think. But the thing is, I don't know what the Catholic church IS any more. Is it what I see in the Papacy? Is it what I see with the priests - totally individuated and unique, depending on who's doing the service? I feel like there must be a way to reconcile the two, to allow for freedom of expression yet still keeping a cohesive continuity together, without all of this political squabbling. Of course, I have no idea what that might be. The Church is totally built off sovereignty - but it also has a more recent history of Socialist connections. And I feel like it's not working. I feel like people aren't happy about this, that it's just causing hypocrisy. I mean, there's only so many times I can say, "It's just one man's opinion, it's just want one priest says" or "I don't have to agree with the pope" without feeling like I don't belong. There's only so many times I can walk out of mass feeling angry and upset and betrayed.

I'm thinking about going to Lutheran service sometime soon - I mean, I've already gotten the whole "I'm mad at hypocrisy and I'm mad at the pope!" thing down pretty well. But I also think that maybe I'm not meant for organized religion. I really love going to mass - the tradition and ceremony of it is comforting. But the politics driving it really bothers me - maybe because it's a battle that's becoming more and more obvious and I don't want to have to take a side. I'm not a socialist, I'm don't put my faith in the sovereign, I'm not a very good capitalist (well, it depends on your definition of capitalist. I'm not a very good capitalist as defined by a cursory look at Wall Street). It seems that I might just believe in The Theory of Moral Sentiments by Adam Smith (yes, THAT Adam Smith - he's not just an economist, Wall Street people and OWSers. I believe he deserves a huge second look) (I also realize I should really discuss my perception of politics sometime. But not here - this damn long enough). And despite our efforts to separate church and state, one has to admit that religion is pretty damn political in many ways. So maybe, being the weird person that I am (a moral sentimenter and a reverent agnostic-Catholic mess) I should just stop pissing myself off and going to mass. And yet at Christmas, I just keep finding myself drawn back to those cool stone walls, that scent of spicy incense and the guttural rumble of the organ, the haunting glimmering stained glass - and thus I put myself through it all over again.

Maybe I'm a hypocrite too.

Throwing Down the Gauntlet

Today, I received this really kind, sweet email from the president of the Human Rights Campaign, thanking me for all I've done for marriage equality. Now, this was a mass email but it still put a pang of cognitive dissonance in my mind. Mainly because I just joined the HRC two months ago and I haven't done much. Yes, I signed a petition. Yes, I talk about gay rights a lot. Yes, half of my best friends are gay and I photo-stalk people who photo-stalk John Barrowman. But that doesn't equal much of anything. Of course, neither does a passive-aggressive blog. But it's a first step, and it's the thought that counts.


So, as a New Year's resolution before New Years (a Thanksgiving resolution, if you will), I'm jumping into the political arena. That's right, baby - I am throwing down the gauntlet. Because we have a big election next year. And as GLBT issues are near and dear to my heart, there's some stuff I think should be clarified.

Read this article. And then watch the video posted below (it's the same that's on the article's website). Or just watch the video and then read the article. Really, I don't care. Just do it.

I don't know about you, but when I first watched this, I felt a bit like I do when someone is speaking Italian above my level - I can understand words, and maybe a few sentences, but nothing made cohesive sense. Fortunately for me, I read the article first. Or maybe unfortunately... because I spent much of the morning think about this.

Now admittedly, the video doesn't mention anything at all about homosexuals. But the Huffington Post blog article says that Tamara Scott, Michele Bachmann's Iowa Campaign Co-Chair, is speaking in reference to gay marriage and how it will ruin the institution of marriage. Because this is taken out of context and I have no idea what "red herring" is being referred to, maybe the Huffington Post (which is a pretty liberal paper) is just trying to make Scott look really bad. But she does work for Michele Bachmann. And, as I just learned in my social psych textbook, birds of a feather flock together.

This article, talks about John Becker and his refusal to pay for therapy sessions he scheduled as part of a sting operation to reveal that a clinic used reparative therapy - ones that are supposed to "turn" gay people straight. Here's the deal - the clinic Becker went to is a Christian counseling center in suburban Minneapolis, run by Marcus Bachmann, Michele Bachmann's husband. Now, Marcus Bachmann denies that his practice does any such counseling. But the thing is, Becker's video of the session he attended seems pretty convincing. And as Michele Bachmann refuses to talk about it, saying it's not important in regards to her campaign, there isn't a whole lot of clear light shed on the issue.

Here's my take: I don't like it when the media gets too deeply involved in a politician's background or past mistakes. Sometimes it's just too much and blown out of proportion (Bill Clinton did pot? This is Jack's lack of surprise). Sometimes it's just a violation of privacy. Besides, nobody's perfect - there's going to be mistakes in a candidate's past. But there's a level of knowledge you NEED to have about a candidate, not only to support their issues and empathize, but to TRUST them. Knowing whether or not your candidate thinks homosexuality can be "cured" by therapy? Big fucking deal to me. As far as I'm concerned, Bachmann is totally unelectable unless she discusses what her husband's clinic does. Yes, I know there's a level of patient confidentiality there - I'm a psych major, for God's sake - but discussing what sort of therapies one uses doesn't break that confidentiality. It's a simple yes or no question, really.

So if Marcus Bachmann's clinic has nothing to hide, why won't either one of them talk about it? A very good question in deed.

Also, all of you Bachmann haters out there, don't blame Minnesota for her. Please realize that she represents only ONE district of our state. And that I had absolutely nothing to do with her election. So haters - be hatin' elsewhere.

SOPA, Part II

I hope this is all a big misunderstanding between internet users and the US government. Because Tumblr is totally freaking me out today with this censorship thing. But according to [Львица]'s sister, it's "IRS spam." Or, later, as she said, "Congress wants to end my life. Cool!" Ah, the life of American teenagers... and the crux of first world problems.

SOPA, or: If this is real, my blogging career is over

So I saw this on Tumblr like five minutes ago: If SOPA passes, the following sites could be blocked for US users.

WHAT. THE. HELL.

Here's an article about it.

A Minnesota senator, OUR AMY KLOBUCHAR, supports it.

Really, guys? REALLY?

I don't know if it would actually block Facebook and Twitter from US users. I can't seem to find any articles to support that. However, I can find a website about American Censorship Day, claiming that Facebook will be gone from my life. Along with Twitter, Tumblr, Megavideo - no more Doctor Who and Torchwood! :( - and no YouTube. Not to mention that it seems this blog will cease to exist. Did I make the gifs I put on here? Did I take the photos (some of them, yes). But overall, nada. Call me a pirate. Me and like 90 some percent of my generation.

If this is real, then my creative outlets, innovation sites and business tools are kaput. My hopes of finding an outlet to practice writing, create a web presence and beef up a resume are gone. The chance of aspiring musicians, actors, entertainers, etc to express themselves and post their work will be made far more difficult to attain. So we watch TV shows for free and we sing covers of our favorite songs - guess what? I bet for every song we sing and TV show we watch, we BUY something that compensates. Yes, I watch Torchwood on Megavideo. But I'm planning on buying the seasons and I buy other merch. So we consumers are still buying stuff, if that's your worry. We're not going to fuck you over, music/movie/media industries. We LIKE you. We buy stuff, we do. We respect what you do. We just don't like spending loads of money for single songs, TV seasons, cable. And if you haven't noticed, American TV is ridiculous and Netflix has decided to suck. So... can you really blame us?

I don't like censorship. Lemme just make that clear. I don't usually get super in-your-face political, but this is something I really care about. I love how accessible the internet is - anyone can post anything. Yes, that causes problems - LOTS of problems. But seriously, I think this is the least of your worries. Could you maybe work on catching people who post child porn or something? That seems a little more vital to the integrity of our country than, you know, the guy at the U of such-and-such downloading a Katy Perry song for free. IMHO.

So if you happen to be as outraged as me and worried just enough that this totally legitimate, visit the American Censorship Day website and sign their petition. Let's just hope this is just a lot of ruckus over something that won't pass, that we've overblown into a monstrosity. But these days - who knows?

I can't tell if I'm going more anarchist or more libertarian. God help us all if I become either one.

St. Andrew's Cross

It’s been nearly three months since I crossed the pond for my summer seminar in Scotland, the third time I’ve been abroad and the best experience yet, but I really haven’t stopped thinking about it. It’s a bit troubling really. Fish and chips sounds utterly unappetizing, due to the quantity I ate there. American cities seem less complex and, well, deep after the complex layering of history in Edinburgh. And, yes, I miss the ability to go out and have a pint in the evenings.

More than that, it’s the mentality of that trip that I miss. I felt like I could do anything, say anything, be myself for this first in a long while. I didn’t worry about grades or being academically perfect (well, not too much), I didn’t worry extensively about my friends or other relationship matters, feeling that everything would be just peachy when I returned home. I didn’t worry about economic affairs (other than trying not to spend too many pounds on hard cider) or the political issues going on in the US. I didn’t let my typical introverted nature take hold and I felt like I had absolute freedom.

Now, here I am, feeling like the entire trip was a dream. With all the work done and grades returned, I feel like I didn’t get what I expected from the course. Some of my friendships are back on the rocks, exactly where they were before Scotland and, despite my attempts at nurturing them, are actually getting worse. I’m still single – but that’s a topic for another day (there’s too many weird complexities in that pathetic little tale to convey here). I am terrified about the economic crisis in the US and I have no idea what the hell I want to do after college. I’m not introverted as much as I used to be, but I feel like I’m constantly disappointing people and absolute freedom is simply a hope for the future.

Perhaps that’s what is lacking now in my return. I has such hope for my summer, for the rest of year, and now just feel burnt out. There’s something about traveling that inspires renewal for me, with this trip in particular. I’d wanted to go to Scotland ever since I was a freshman in high school and that dream finally came true. And it was exactly what I’d hoped for – in fact even better. There’s no point in trying to describe the lushness of the glens and the awe-inspiring buildings in the cities and the absolute beauty of the Highlands. I simply don’t have the words to do it. But it was like something out of my dreams and, for once, all of my other thoughts in life streamlined into this one dream – thoughts on life, love, learning, you get the idea. It was the journey of a lifetime.

And now that I’ve returned home, fallen back into the ennui summers has brought since I graduated from high school, I feel like I’ve woke up from a dream and felt lost in an aftermath of… well, reality. Traveling didn’t change my life – but it did change me. And it’s the struggle to integrate that me back into my life. Journeys don’t end when the travelers return home – it’s only the beginning of another expedition.