GOOGLE!!! *fist shake*

http://www.johnhaydon.com

So I updated to Google+ tonight and just realized that everything I had about myself on the blog - my username and my funny little saying about relating time travel to Doctor Who (which took me FOREVER to write) all disappeared when I integrated my new profile with my blogs. Goddammit.

Oh well. I'll still refer to myself as another name. I'll just pretend I didn't change anything. I'll just lie to myself until I stop regretting and realizing that this entire Google+ things is a confusing waste of my time. Sigh...

In memorium of my once-was description (I think it was basically like this):  If culture is to time travel as being a culture vulture is to being a time traveler, then I'm a mediocre stand-in for Doctor Who. Give me a break, I'm trying my best.

Shadows

I was on the vast world of Tumblr today when I noticed something: one of the blogs I followed early on, eirwencorentin, hadn't posted anything for days. I really like the photos he or she posts (I've assume it's a she but I actually don't know - I could be wrong. Thus I will hense forth refer to him or her as ze - and use the chance to practice using gender neutral pronouns) - lots of beautiful outdoor scenes and magical-looking buildings and Parisian-inspired things and Doctor Who and Anime and tea. But I realized that I hadn't seen ze post anything for a while and I was wondering why (because usually ze posts something everyday). I went to zir home page and saw this as zir most recent post:

My resolution for 2012 is to die. That’s why this tumblr won’t be updated anymore.

This really freaked me out. I mean, I never really got the feeling that this person was particularly depressed - not over all. Ze posted some disturbing things - this was the second most recent post and similar to something I'd seen a month or so ago:

When I'd seen previous posts like this, I felt confused. They were usually reblogs and they just didn't seem to fit anything else ze posted. But I, of course, don't know this person. I never talked to them online. I never really interacted with ze any more than liking and reblogging zir posts. I don't know much of anything about this person. But it's still really worrying. What if ze did commit suicide? What if zir dead? How would I ever know?

It's one of the things I don't like about Tumblr - it's a bonding source for people who have a lot of depression issues and think about committing suicide. And not a good sort of a bonding. The sort that convinces people it would be better if they just ended their lives. Which in my opinion is not the best source of support.

I've never dealt with serious depression. I've never seriously, realistically considered committing suicide - I have in certain instances, when I'm upset beyond thinking clearly and feeling shitty and not thinking about my life outside this one instance. But the thought repels me even as it appears - I know deep down that I'm not really going to do it; it's just a sudden, almost inappropriate gut reaction it seems. I'm not one who has thoughts every day of wanting to end their life, of suffering depression so great they can't function. My depression - if you could even call it that - it is far smaller and non-continuous, sporadic and not serious. But I know how serious depression can really be - it's a fight every day to get out of bed, to keep moving, to not give up. Some days I have to fight a bit, most I don't. But to have to fight every day, every minute, is a sort of exhaustion I truly do not know.

Eirwen Corentin - the only name I know you by - I hope you are still out there, somewhere, fighting. I can't begin to understand what you've gone through, or why or how, but I hope you haven't given in to the shadows, that you haven't fallen into seeing the world only in terms of light and dark and all you can see is darkness. Because there is so much to see beyond the dark, beyond the shadows, so much to live for when you can find a way to know that darkness is not absolute.

But I'll never know if you did, will I? I'll never know. It's too little, too late, from the wrong person. All I can do is wait and see if you come back to your blog... just wait. And hope.

SOPA, or: If this is real, my blogging career is over

So I saw this on Tumblr like five minutes ago: If SOPA passes, the following sites could be blocked for US users.

WHAT. THE. HELL.

Here's an article about it.

A Minnesota senator, OUR AMY KLOBUCHAR, supports it.

Really, guys? REALLY?

I don't know if it would actually block Facebook and Twitter from US users. I can't seem to find any articles to support that. However, I can find a website about American Censorship Day, claiming that Facebook will be gone from my life. Along with Twitter, Tumblr, Megavideo - no more Doctor Who and Torchwood! :( - and no YouTube. Not to mention that it seems this blog will cease to exist. Did I make the gifs I put on here? Did I take the photos (some of them, yes). But overall, nada. Call me a pirate. Me and like 90 some percent of my generation.

If this is real, then my creative outlets, innovation sites and business tools are kaput. My hopes of finding an outlet to practice writing, create a web presence and beef up a resume are gone. The chance of aspiring musicians, actors, entertainers, etc to express themselves and post their work will be made far more difficult to attain. So we watch TV shows for free and we sing covers of our favorite songs - guess what? I bet for every song we sing and TV show we watch, we BUY something that compensates. Yes, I watch Torchwood on Megavideo. But I'm planning on buying the seasons and I buy other merch. So we consumers are still buying stuff, if that's your worry. We're not going to fuck you over, music/movie/media industries. We LIKE you. We buy stuff, we do. We respect what you do. We just don't like spending loads of money for single songs, TV seasons, cable. And if you haven't noticed, American TV is ridiculous and Netflix has decided to suck. So... can you really blame us?

I don't like censorship. Lemme just make that clear. I don't usually get super in-your-face political, but this is something I really care about. I love how accessible the internet is - anyone can post anything. Yes, that causes problems - LOTS of problems. But seriously, I think this is the least of your worries. Could you maybe work on catching people who post child porn or something? That seems a little more vital to the integrity of our country than, you know, the guy at the U of such-and-such downloading a Katy Perry song for free. IMHO.

So if you happen to be as outraged as me and worried just enough that this totally legitimate, visit the American Censorship Day website and sign their petition. Let's just hope this is just a lot of ruckus over something that won't pass, that we've overblown into a monstrosity. But these days - who knows?

I can't tell if I'm going more anarchist or more libertarian. God help us all if I become either one.

Princess Mo

This is Mo, the [Львица]'s cat. She is actually a princess, waiting to inherit her throne and enslave us all with her cuteness. All hail her - for her power over butter and tuna can be felt far and wide.

Okay, this is really just an excuse to use an excellent picture [Львица] took. And because it took me like an hour to figure out how to combine the crown image and the Mo photo as one single pic. Be impressed, dammit - it took some skill.

The Next Step in Home Security?

I'd love to get one of these for the apartment, but I'm pretty sure it would blow the building up. Check out this new bot that can pack quite a punch: Homemade Robot Can Shoot 1000 Rounds.

Yeah... thinking that if that ever went rouge our entire campus would be screwed.

Google, I have underestimated you...

Again, technology has proven to me that I should never, never NEVER judge it only by face value.

Take Blogger (run by Google) for example. The entity that it is and I have had a long string of miscommunications. Such as not telling me that I could update Blogger and do cooler things with my blog until I'd already complained about it for two weeks and resulted in me looking like an idiot. And then I tried using Google Chrome, only to find that it did nothing different than Firefox. And then I've had a million little squabbles with Gmail, because my university email system runs on Google and it doesn't cooperate and...

*Sigh*... It's not really Google's fault... technology is just complicated. But don't you think, Google overlords, some things could be made a little simpler?

But then today.... ah, today. I discovered that Google has some pretty awesome capabilities that make my life as a culture vulture much easier. They are as follows:

1) Google Image Searches just got badass: You can now search BY images. You can drag it into the search box and it will guess what you're looking for. TRY IT. It makes me feel like a 21st century techno-nerd. And finally I can figure out what the hell these random images I've stumbled across online are.

2) Google trends: Find out what hot searches are (today's top five are Seal Beach CA, David Ortiz, Texas Rangers, Danielle Chiesi, and Ellen Degeneres Show). Also find a way to drag into your website people for no reason other than the fact you mentioned something you searched for (hey, it's working pretty well on the post with the Nicholas Cage vampire photo. If you were looking for the photo and got directed here, sorry about that. Isn't Google just a blast? :P)

3) Google Zeitgeist: Okay, admittedly, this kept freezing on my computer, but it's supposed to show you how cultural trends were searched over the course of the year across the globe. Like it can show you a graphic of how many people searched about information regarding the South Africa World Cup and which countries searched it the most. It's pretty cool - if you can get it to work.

This being said, I am now having trouble getting comment boxes to appear on my blog after changing the format. I select that comments should be allowed and Blogger immediately forgets I've done it. So, what have we learned about technology today, children? It's complicated, it's wonderful, it's trying my patience, and we couldn't live with out it. Now to see if I can finally get those comment-y things to work right...

Here's to the crazy ones

Cute pick from BBC article: The Cult of Steve Jobs

<3 <3 <3

Loss at Day's End

I was just about to sit down and listen to my iTunes and procrastinate on Blogger about thirty minutes ago when my dad texted me and told me that Steve Jobs had died. Suddenly, I was sitting there with my computer at my wrists, crying for a man I'd never met.

Steve Jobs means a lot to me. He always seemed like the different guy in the tech world. His products were cooler, trendier and better working. He took the risk of making products that cost more in order to appeal to a more elegant, eye-pleasing, better-functioning machine. Take the computer I'm using right now - a  MacBook I've had for five years, at least, and it runs GREAT. No problems (unless it involves using Microsoft. But we all know why those issues exist). Apple is just incredible, especially with their phones and music devices. Where would we be without the iPod? Heck, even [shortage of perfect breasts], who's a computer science major, wants an iPhone - and she usually spouts Dells as the best computers in the world.

Steve Jobs changed the tech world - no doubt. His devices helped me overcome the belief that computers were weird, complicated devices that I would never figure out. This coinciding with something else I've decided tonight gives an extra oomph to how much of a part Apple computers play in my life. And though this probably seems like really rambling bullshit - which it is, because I'm still overcoming the flu, a little stressed, and grieved - I just wanted to take a moment to think reflect on a great man, before all the news channels start ask about what's next for Apple and people like [novel killer] say stuff that will piss me off. Right now I want a little bit of the sacred, a little moment of silence from a nobody who's life has been forever changed by this man. Thank you, Steve Jobs. Thank you for everything. You will be sorely missed. RIP.

Unfriended

This keeps happening - every once in a while, someone I knew from high school will pop into my mind and I wonder why I haven't seen their statuses on Facebook for a while. Then, awkwardly, I'll realize they've unfriended me. It isn't a big deal, in face I shouldn't even be concerned about it. But it's just... well, strange.

I'm not a particularly outgoing person. Despite how much I jabber away on this blog, I don't actually jabber this much in person. Maybe it's because I don't communicate enough that people decide, "Oh, she never talks to me. Why should I keep her as a friend?" But I'd like to keep in contact with people from high school, even if I didn't know them that well. Take [singer/songwriter/doctor] for example. She and I go to the same university. We had a bunch of classes together in high school. She's friends with my best friend from high school, [Broadway baby]. She's someone I just casually know, but know enough to be Facebook friends with - or so I thought. But yesterday I noticed we're Facebook friends no longer.

This sort of thing tends to get me paranoid. Did I say something to offend them? Am I just too obnoxious? Not obnoxious enough? Not cool enough? Do I just make people want to run in the other direction?

Fuck that shit. I am a perfectly fine person. I don't need to have a bunch of friends on Facebook or have a bunch of people follow me on Twitter to feel liked (though it certainly helps...) I like myself the way I am, even if I have to sing "I Am What I Am" a thousand time a day to make myself believe it. I have the friends I need and the friends I don't can go do their own thing. And if people don't like me for who I am - tough shit. I am sick of feeling inadequate around people who don't care anyway. So go ahead, people from high school, unfriend me. You don't know me now anyway. You don't know what you're missing out on. :D

Yes, this is the truth in my insecurities - it's actually a cover for how much of a narcissist I am. Watch out, world...

Teeth, Part II

So this morning I was reading this article my dad sent about killer tricks to use on an Apple operating system. Then this came up at the end of the article for suggested reading: Self-Defense Gadgets. And this was the first thing I saw:

It's a a Tampon Taser. It's a "serious electric weapon built into a feminine-hygiene product." So just in case you're afraid of someone finding your stun gun in your purse, but less afraid of tampons falling out, this is the weapon for you.

There were some pretty interesting gadgets in the article (I personally like the shotgun built into a flashlight) but the "pink stinger" stood out the most to me. A nice flashback to the movie Teeth where vaginas are armed and dangerous. Just think, this gadget could be used in the sequel.

Everything is amazing - and nobody is happy

Basically, this guy sums up how I feel about life, technology and so much other shit... except about a hundred times funnier than I can. I could probably say something about how this totally represents constant accumulation without pleasure, but sadly, I'm too exhausted from packing and getting ready to move into my new apartment, so I owe you a cultural commentary. Oh, and remind me of this video the next time I complain about Blogger, my phone or anything else that has to use outer space to work :D

Hipster Attack

So within the span of five minutes this morning, I saw two stories related to hipsters. One from my father: Hipsters are Abandoning Obama. Interesting. Am I right in seeing that this article seems to be saying that hipsters are abandoning Obama because he's "too mainstream?" Or is that my personal judgment of hipsters coming in? (even though I sort of claim to be one... ah, the paradox that is my life)

The other story I saw prior to this article on, where else, Facebook, from [manly-metro]: Minnesota named 'Most Hipster State in the US', to which [manly-metro] commented on his link:
"FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The vibe I was getting was that he really doesn't like hipsters. Especially when one girl commented "*proud* :p" and he called her "bad" for saying that. Right... Okay, [manly-metro], here's one for you: would you rather be known as the most hipsters state in the US or the state that elected A PRO WRESTLER as governor? Oh, you think that's manly? How about the state that gave us MICHELE BACHMAN? I'm guessing you don't like her much. Many college students don't. But may I show you what some people think of hipsters and other college students? This is a comment from the article about hipsters abandoning Obama:


They are what Glenn [Glenn Beck I would assume... ah, the things I could blog about him...] called “Useful Idiots” that were misled by their college professors into thinking that progressive-humanism is glamorous and will do good for all with communist/marxist skewed delusional end result thats not reality!!! Americans in their 40′s and older have seen the evil and impoverishing effects in their reality that has been hidden from these sheltered punks!!! The look on their face when they find out they‘ve been deceived would be quite satisfying if we weren’t all in misery with them! Sometimes I believe that God is going to give us a good as* kicking so that us free Americans can see how blessed we have been and to teach us a lesson we won’t forget for generations!!!

Things I'm still right about, Part 3

1) Men are stupid. Not all men, but a baffling high frequency surround my life. Like the guy in my neighborhood that was climbing a ladder that wasn't propped up against anything and then fell face-forward on it into the ground while a guy and girl just stood in the yard and smiled. Or how about this little gem that showed up on my Facebook page today:

[No-Mr-Darcy]: Just built a bookcase with [timmah!]...horrible experience.

[timmah!]: how was I supposed to know I couldn't stand on it?

[No-Mr-Darcy]: *speechless*

Actually, my point gets better. Here's a later status:

[No-Mr-Darcy]: very manly day. Had a grill out with the chums, brats and burgers. then helped [Bromandawg] get a bat out of imholt.

Click here to express yourself through the hidden meanings of ancient and modern symbols!

So I originally planned on talking about the Minnesota Renaissance Fair, as I attended opening day yesterday. But after I Googled information about the henna tattoo I got yesterday, I changed my mind.

I love henna - the sweet, eucalyptus smell of the paste, the feel of the paste as it slowly crumbles away, the beautiful, sienna stain left behind on the skin. Since I've yet to actually get a real tattoo (since I've only recently made up my mind on what I want to get, and that was purely by accident) henna is a great alternative - it looks great, it's painless and if I decide I don't like it, it'll fade away over a few weeks.

This time, though, I got something I really really like and would love to have permanently done - a nautical star (yes, yes - the sea again, I know). So, curious as to the meaning of the tattoo (though I had a pretty good inclination as to what it meant), I web surfed this morning to learn more. I did not receive the result I was expecting.

Yes, it was a sailor's tattoo, used as a symbol for safe-passage home and good luck so a sailor would never be lost at sea. Apparently over the last century or so, it's acquired a few different meanings. According to several websites, it's become a symbol for the gay and lesbian community, especially lesbians. In the 1950s, lesbians would get it tattooed on their inner arm or writs (some part of their arm; it changed depending on the site) which they would hide during the day then reveal during night to "express who they truly were" (I do ask the people who say that the tattoo was on the wrist, how exactly did they hide that? I feel like the wrist is the most visible area on the body, unless you're living in the Victorian era or before. But for the 50s? I don't know... Curse web forums and their lack of sources!) Of course then I found a million people flipping out about, "Does having a nautical star mean you're gay?" to which people were like, "No, it doesn't mean that at all, that's not what the symbol really means." Actually, the best answer to the question (meaning the worst) was "The tattoo only means you're gay if it's on your lower back." Um, yeah, who decided that exactly? (ten bucks it was the guy who wrote that response).

Look! I posted a video! For the win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hahahahaha! While messing around with my blog today, I found out WHY I couldn't post videos. It wasn't because I didn't have Google Chrome. It wasn't because I'm totally un-tech savy (though some days I'm close). It wasn't even because of a world-wide conspiracy against Apple (which would be pretty shitty, lemme tell you).

It was because I was using an old version of Blogger editing and I was unaware of it. Wouldn't you think that'd be something you'd want to tell me, Blogger, so I can update and make you look better? Whatever, I fixed it. No hard feelings, right?

Right?

Whatever, here's a sweet-ass video.

Today I was chased by an albino through London - and why I shouldn't Google random crap

So I Googled "Weird stuff going on," hoping to find a weird news story to talk about. Instead, I got this: The End Time: Very weird things going on in Sicily with clocks (another blog! Hello, friend) If you think this is weird, you should experience the dreams I've been having after I watched "The Da Vinci Code" too late at night. Hence the pointless blog title.

I'm having a hard time following the idea though... so apparently because clocks are acting weird in Sicily, there is a demon realm and it's the end of the world? I guess my Catholic upbringing didn't really stress the threat of demons (unless it involved exorcisms and that was never addressed in school or church. I actually blame Hollywood for that fear and infatuation in my life) or the end of the world. Maybe it's because I don't have a very good streak of reliability with technology, but it seems like electronics exploding and clocks not keeping time is, yes, some very freaky shit and I would not want that happening, but also not out of the realm of "normal" happenings. Electronics do weird stuff all the time. I've seen a waffle maker flip itself over and spit out a waffle for no reason at all, but I didn't think it was demons (though, come to think of it, half the electronic stuff didn't work in the townhouse. Hmm...) Also, not that I'm a demonologist or anything, but wouldn't demons have more important things to do than fucking with our clocks? I thought they were supposed to be more evil than that. But that's just my humble opinion.

Foxy

Back on Firefox. I apologize for my rant, Google. I like Blogger. I like Gmail. Your browser should look like everyone else's on my computer, and not hateful just because I'm using a product from a company you see as a competitor. Just so you know.

Though I still can't embed videos in cool ways, I can add sweet pictures. Like this random one:
I kind of want that shirt, actually. Narwhals for the win!

Chromed

So I gave in... and got Google Chrome. Because now I can actually add stuff to this blog the way I want to. Like this random video...

Let me work on posting it...

This just in... I STILL cannot attach videos the way I have beent old I should be able to form Chrome. This is probably because the world hates Apple, much to my dismay. The layout is exactly the same was it was for Firefox. ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT I DOWNLOADED THIS BROWSER ONLY TO FIND THAT IT IS EXACTLY LIKE FIREFOX FOR APPLE?

Fuck you, Google. Seriously, fuck you. I'm going back to Firefox.

Why i-Tunes is stealing my soul

So I was in the car with [Львица] and the French exchange student who is visiting to her family when a song came on the iPod hooked up the the car's radio. It sounded like Keane, it had to be Keane - the lead singer has a pretty recognizable voice and I have a crap-ton of their music on my own iPod, so I'd like to think I'd be able to recognize them. But I'd never heard the song before. "Is this off of a new album?" I asked [Львица]. "It's off 'Perfect Symmetry.'" Strange, I thought. I have that entire album on my i-Pod but I don't recognize this song.

That would be because that song wasn't on the album when I bought it. See, I bought it in old-school format, solid CD at a local store. And it only has 11 tracks on it, instead of 12, which is what iTunes offered. Fortunately for me, there was ANOTHER version of 'Perfect Symmetry' in the store, a deluxe version that had the song I wanted (as the standard version on iTunes had that song as "album only").

For one thing, this is way too complicated - three versions of one CD, one of which isn't even available on i-Tunes. And another, why in the world would I continue buying actual CDs when I can download them off of iTunes for cheaper, faster and I can get more songs for less money? Plus I don't have to worry about the CDs cluttering up my room (like they are right now). So sorry, record industry - if you're going to continue making this confusing, I'm just going to buy off of iTunes, where I can easily compare records and make sure I'm getting the most bang for my buck.

By the way, the song I downloaded, "Time to Go" - is fantastic, the best on the album. I haven't the foggiest idea WHY it wasn't on the one I purchased - glad I heard it on [Львица]'s iPod or I'd really be missing out. Give it a listen if you've got the time.

Zuckerbergermeister

Okay, so the title makes no sense; it's my attempt to tie in Mark Zuckerberg's name with the tiny bit of German I know (and have probably spelled wrong). But after seeing "The Social Network," Zuckerberg keeps popping up in conversation between my roommates and I. And in honor of it being nominated for an Academy Award, I've decided to write about it.

It's a good movie - better than I was expecting. I was afraid it was going to be one of those "This is the greatest piece of technology ever made and we must worship it!" kinds of things. But it was more critical than that. Yeah, it didn't talk about how Facebook is kind of addicting and could possibly ruining our forms of communication. But the creation of Facebook (as told by the screenwriters, of course) was pretty sweet. Jesse Eisenberg's Zuckerberg was an interesting, complicated character and (though he may be more fiction than fact) I feel like it was a unique way to express someone who's become a billionaire and Time's Person of the Year all within a few years. And it makes me realize just how prevalent Facebook is. Like I ate a Lean Pocket for dinner yesterday (because the stove was being temperamental - screw you, stove!) and there was a little icon on the envelope advertising to go on line and "follow" Lean Pockets on Facebook. Wow... Just wow.

However, the after-effects of seeing "The Social Network" has been a bit weird. None of my roommates and I can log on now without feeling odd... sort of bad, in a way. Like I'm screwing over Eduardo or something. My roommate, [mind ninja], had a weird combination of the movie "Surrogates" with Zuckerberg trying to take over the world. And yet, I'm still logging on to Facebook everyday. What the hell does this mean? I don't know... I still don't know how to feel about Facebook in general. But it's not like I can just delete my account - I still like it, and it's my only way of staying in contact with certain people. I've just got to keep in mind that there's more to Facebook than just profiles and statuses (like being "wired in" to the whole thing really seems... well, for lack of a better word, weird). If only it were that simple...