To Myself, In the Future

Hello Future Me,

I certainly hope that, wherever you are in space in time, that it is not in a little apartment infested by centipedes and mice. Or some place worse. I have decided to write this little post because I feel suddenly struck by a fear of making mistakes that are not worth making - not the good sort. And I would like to try to provide you with a source of some perhaps helpful advice in lieu of the insanity that certainly lies ahead.

First off, I have no idea what you will be doing in general. Hopefully it will not involve being a hobo. Regardless, whatever it is, do it with passion. Don't give in to doing something safe just because you know you can do it. TRY NEW THINGS. The worse that can happen is that you will fail, and we both are plenty familiar with that.

I will never be this cool. But goddamn, I can try.

Of course, I'm going to bring up relationships. If you remember, I'm on the edge between being a full-blown romantic and a nihilistic hermit. So, I'm hoping things are a little more steady on your end. If you're queen of the Ryan Gosling Swagger (à la Crazy Stupid Love), kudos. If things suck, keep a stiff upper lip. Remember what it was like to not understand love, to not even have any experience with it. To wonder why you saw so few relationships work out, why everything seems so simple, until you become part of one. I know I sound down about it all but I'm just showing - you knew more than you thought you did. Don't sweat it; it'll work out. I believe it will.

If by some strike of fate you find yourself in a long-term relationship, don't take it for granted. Just don't. And if by some terrible, incredible miracle you have children, remember not to be too hard on them when they act up. Growing up is tough - it might seem long ago, but I remember it pretty well. It's brilliant and brutal. And whatever your kids do, you probably did once too. Don't blame them too much for their mistakes, economic troubles, mistakes you made. They'll listen... maybe too well.

Wherever you're living, I hope it feels like home. I know when you were younger, you likened yourself to a turtle - adaptable, movable, able to fit in anywhere. Know that I'm glad you had that adaptability but that you shouldn't be afraid to put down roots. No one belongs here more than you.

Fresh off a 21st birthday, I had some crummy feelings in the days shortly before. It got me worried, it got me thinking. I hope you're strong and confident - I hope that I'm establishing that now. I hope you still have a warm fuzzy feeling for sci-fi shows and Broadway plays, and a penchant for shortbread, Earl Grey tea and Nutella. But most of all, I hope you look back at all of this and don't regret a thing.

21

It's happened... I'm officially 21 years old. It's incredible. Actually, yesterday was just incredible in general. Here's the basic run-down of my big, fat twenty-first birthday:

Around eleven o'clock, I started getting ready for my parents to come pick me up. I got a phone call from [X], with [the artist] yelling in the background, both wishing me a happy day. It was a slightly awkward conversation because I got the feeling [X] didn't quite know what to say, but I didn't care - I was glad she called. Then I realized it was snowing - oh, joy of joys! - and my hopes and dreams and prayers for snow on my birthday were answered. Except that I think maybe I'd been hoping a little too much... we got quite a bit more snow than I was expecting. But win - total win!

Due to the sudden onslaught of snow, my parents were a little later than expected, but no matter. We headed over to Brit's Pub, where I had two Strongbows, talked way too much about Scotland, and ate Scotch eggs. Then we ambled over to The Local, had Irish coffee and fish and chips (and got carded - for the first and last time of the day. I was rather shocked. Only one out of three waitresses thought I looked younger than 21? I was surprised. "Are you telling me that I could have tried this long ago and not gotten carded?" I asked my dad. "Probably," he replied. "I can tell by body language - waitresses always treat you like you're older." I must admit this was a bit anti-climatic. Oh well.) Then we crossed the street to The Newsroom, which used to have really good food, but now it was just kind of mediocre. My crab mac and cheese was far too salty. And I made myself content with water because my mom ordered a margarita, didn't even like how it was mixed and discovered it was $11. Shit.

So, to make up for that blip, we went to O'Donnovans, another Irish pub, had another Irish coffee and got free samples of this cake-flavored vodka by Three Olives. Now, flavored vodka always kind of sounded gross to me. BUT THIS WAS FANTASTIC. Mixed with pineapple juice and amaretto, it made this drink that tasted like pineapple upside-down cake. It was really brilliant. So my dad ordered a drink called coffee cake, that included the flavored vodka, Bailey's Irish cream, and coffee (and whipped cream. Absolutely has to have whipped cream). The bartender accidentally made a shot as well, so we got two drinks for the price of one and shared them. My dad then told the girls doing the promoting that it was my birthday, so I got my picture taken with them and a free tiara, which I then proceeded to wear until we left the bar, when I decided that I was tired and a total light-weight and it was time to go home. So home I went to discover what present my parents had bought me (a gift set of two shot glasses and Jameson Irish whiskey - for the win :D ) and to watch SNL (and a brilliant performance by Florence + The Machine) with [Львица].

Sadly I had a stomach ache for most of the night and a better part of this morning (too much food, too much alcohol, too much sweet stuff, too much fun) but other than that it was absolutely perfect. It was the best birthday ever. And it's made me feel that things are only going to get better from here. Thanks to everyone for their warm birthday wishes and gifts - the kindness and generosity I saw made me all warm and fuzzy and felt so loved. I have the best friends and family in the world :)

SURPRISE!!!!

I love surprises. Absolutely love them. So when I came home from class on Thursday to find this box sitting on the table, I was giddy with delight.

Cupcakes!!!!! From the cafe Cupcake no less. I was sooooo happy. However, I soon realized that this was just the beginning of the gift finding. I walked into my room and was face-to-face with this:

There was a card with it, with a wonderfully sweet message from [Львица]. I began getting paranoid that something was going to jump out at me. So I looked in my closet and found this:

Cute t-shirt for the win! And then I closed the closet door to find this:

A Guinness poster - from Ireland! [Львица]'s father bought it there years ago and bequeathed it me. I owe you one, sir - I absolutely adore this. I thought that was it. Until I walked into the kitchen and found this on the fridge:

And then...

GUINNESS!!!!!!!!!!

My life was made - cupcakes, ample attractive pictures of the lovely John Barrowman, and Guinness. There is truly nothing more I need in life. Except that [Львица] seemed to disagree. Because as we were going out to dinner, I found two gift cards (and two more John Barrowman pics) taped to my coat and scarf - one for a cafe, one for a ice cream shop. Seriously, could it get better?

It did. I got gnocchi and calamari at Buca Di Beppos, had my first experience with restaurant waiters singing a birthday song to me (I felt so special!!!!). And when I got home, I nearly died laughing to find that I'd been carrying another gift in my purse the entire time - a mustache flask :D It was fantastic.

And then I found the last Guinness hiding in the medicine cabinet (the other had been with Mo's food and I'd discovered it before we went to dinner). Note to self - [Львица] is EXTREMELY GOOD at surprises and hiding things. It was a totally victory on her part and I much appreciate it. Thank you so much, m'dear - it really means a lot to me :)

It's not even my birthday yet and things are already fantastic. Looking forward to tomorrow - dinner with my parents and my first drink in an American bar. Epic win :D

10 Days

[Львица] kindly reminded me today that it's only 10 days until my 21st birthday. Which I knew, but hadn't consciously been cognizant of. Which is a fancy way of saying, Holy fuck, it's nearly my birthday and I've been so busy trying not to think about it and get ridiculously over excited that I actually kind of forgot for a moment.

So yeah. 21 on November 19th. It's gonna be THE SHIT. Finally I can legally drink. Finally I can have that Guinness I've been longing to have at a pub ever since I left part of my soul in Glasgow. And finally, I can stop worrying about what people have got planned for me. Seriously, last year I got a secret cake and an epic Ewan McGregor card and a Trainspotting poster. It was pretty much ridiculously awesome. Today, I had to wait outside the apartment while [Львица] was telling her father about... whatever the gift is. And now I'm insanely curious. 10 days. And all shall be revealed.

I bet Mo the cat got me tuna. :D