"It's all about the triumph of intellect and romance over brute force and cynicism." Okay, so that's Craig Ferguson talking about Doctor Who, but this blog endeavors exactly that. Lofty yes, but what the hell, why not. Onward, my romantic intellectual companions!
I have a confession to make. I am a total sci-fi fan.
Most of you probably already knew this. Or maybe you didn't. I did, I just never fully realized this until we watched Star Trek and Firefly in my television class. And I saw Thor with my parents (Oh. My. God. That movie was fantastic. Considering that Thor is the Avenger I know the least about, I was totally pleased and ecstatic about it).
http://www.comingsoon.net/
I think part of my lack of realization about this interest is that I was never really good at paying attention to genre. Did I care if there were spaceships and aliens intermingling with an interesting plot line? No, but it was certainly a nice perk. It has recently occurred to me that not everyone grew up watching Star Trek with their father and discussing how it capitulates the deeper philosophies of life. Not all kids read Tuck Everlasting 20 times in elementary school (this book is sci-fi/fantasy. A family that can live forever? Of course it is!) And a lot of people probably didn't read The Hobbit at age 10 and think it was fantastic but not actually understand what was going on until much later. Yes, I know that book is written more for children. Yes, I know that it shouldn't be that hard to understand. But I was terribly distracted by trying to fathom what a hobbit was because I'd never heard of them before. I was also ten and just because I had a good vocabulary didn't mean I was good at understanding plots (much to my dismay, my friend [X] read The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings ridiculously young and knows a ridiculous amount about anything Tolkein. I don't know how she know is all... probably because she read The Silmarillion ages ago and I'm just now getting to it. Regardless, it's a little hard to talk about it with her because it ends up sort of insulting to intelligence. Just because I've been a bit slow on the uptake).
http://www.startrek.com/
I admit that I'm not familiar with sci-fi/fantasy that isn't pretty mainstream. I haven't read Dune, I haven't read Mercedes Lackey (like my "real" fantasy literature-reading friends). I also fail to clearly articulate the differences between science fiction and graphic novels, as expressed by my inclusion of Thor in this discussion. But it came to my attention during discussions of sci-fi shows in my television class that some people don't even like the mainstream stuff. Aliens weird some people out. Hurtling through space and time makes them uncomfortable. Discussion of faeries interwoven into modern day city-life gets looks of confusion. For some reason, I know way too much about pookas. And then I begin to realize that I did not learn this stuff in school, I didn't even learn it on TV. I learned it from reading a very particular sub-genre of books. One not everyone encounters.
My initial reaction was this:
(Oh, no; I just had this great and terrible vision of the rest of my life being comprised of nothing but lines of dialogue from Sherlock.)
But then it struck me why so many people might shy away from sci-fi/fantasy. To be honest, sometimes I do as well. And that's because of the Sy Fy channel and B movies. They have a lot of badly made, awkward sci-fi. If all you know about science fiction was that, you'd shy away from it too. Fortunately for me, I never saw Sy Fy channel until I was a teenager, so I was saved the trauma of having that as my first experiences with the genre.
I can understand why sci-fi may not be everyone's cup of tea; it takes some suspension of belief and an acceptance that weird shit may and can happen. After reading Phillip K. Dick, I accept that I like this. That fact that I was enjoying Radio Free Albemuth and not totally confused out of my mind I think shows that I've just developed a different taste for things that other people may not necessarily have. On that note, I'm going to go geek out about the new Star Trek movie and enjoy reading people's bets on who the villain will be.
I heard this song while riding in the car with [Львица] on our drive back to Lakeville one Friday. It's so rare to hear a song on the classic rock radio stations that I've never heard before, so when this song came on and I couldn't name it or the band, I was rather ecstatic. I really love it though - I really need to find more Pink Floyd stuff like this, with this folksy sound. What a beautiful, poignant piece.
Okay, I had a minor freak-out Wednesday night about having a loose, festering flap of skin on my gums last night post-wisdom teeth removal but it appears that's all for naught. It was gone by Thursday morning and my jaw is beginning to feel much better - even if eating food is still rather difficult.
Being rather limited to my activities has allowed me to return to back to some good old reading - namely Patrick O'Brian's Aubrey/Maturin series. I've read The Mauritius Command and am working my way through Desolation Island. I'm a little disappointed at the lack of Diana Villiers but maybe that's for the best - she'd probably just make Maturin really upset (more upset at her than he already is now) and make me totally pissed off. So a little break from Villiers drama probably isn't such bad thing for the series.
One things I'm really glad to have back is the epic bromance that is Aubrey and Maturin's relationship (bromance is totally the wrong term for it, but there's only so many times in my day that I get to use it, so forgive me). Seriously, these guys have a fantastic friendship. The way they interact with each other is really amusing and, well, real. They're a really powerful duo, even if they don't always get along, and I think that's one reason I find the books so fascinating.
And being the Doctor Who geek I've become, I can't help comparing Captain Jack Aubrey and Doctor Stephen Maturin to Captain Jack Harkness and the Doctor from Doctor Who. Admittedly, I haven't seen A LOT of Doctor Who with Jack Harkness yet (only season one) but the interaction I've seen so far between the Doctor and Captain Jack is pretty fantastic. Also, picturing a cross-over between the two series is awesome - I think both Captain Jacks would have some pretty fun conversations (especially with Aubrey's tenancies of being a ladies' man, and Harkness being flirtatious with anyone and everyone). And both Doctors would have some pretty great discussions, I think.
Doctor, meet the Doctor. Captain Jack, meet Captain Jack. Let the weirdness of this moment commence.
(Side note - do you know how hard it was to find an picture of Jack in the Doctor together without them snogging? Rather more difficult than I'd presumed :P)
Ah, feeling much less zombie-like today. I'm refusing to take pain killers, because I'm a freak, so I can feel the dull ache of where my wisdom teeth should be. And somehow that makes me feel better. Or maybe because I'm refusing to let myself sit on the couch and watch bad TV and feel sorry for myself. I am rather shocked by the fact that Vicodin does absolutely nothing to me. Seriously, I took some last night, hoping to knock myself into a pain-free state of unconsciousness. And nothing happened. I felt relaxed but my jaw still ached and I felt... well, as crummy as I had before. So I've no idea why people find Vicodin so addicting - it certainly does nothing to me.
That being said, I'm going to write an obligatory Christmas post. Because I had a totally rockin' Christmas. It was just with my parents, as it always is now - the drive back to Indiana during winter is a bad idea, considering that snow storms like to spring up out of no where (even if we did have a brown Christmas this year, Indiana still gets some crazy weather). But honestly, it's better with just my parents. No awkward "I don't know what to get you since I don't know you" instances. No feelings of injustice when relatives are not wowed by my academic prowess or year of accomplishments and would rather chat about small-town gossip. No pissed-off Mom and Dad spending the next few weeks being upset with their relatives or in-laws for being socially awkward and self-centered. So, really, staying home is much more in the spirit of the holidays.
http://freethoughtblogs.com
This year, for I think the first time in my entire life, I got everything I asked for on my Christmas list. Which is crazy - I mean, I asked for some crazy stuff - TV seasons, a bunch of books. No fancy electronics, but fairly expensive things. It's not like my parents have failed to fulfill my Christmas lists before. It's just that this one had lost of "optional" things on it - and I got those things too. I am now in possession of the entire released seasons of Torchwood (no Miracle Day because it's not out in the US yet) and Season 1 of Doctor Who (which I am forcing my parents to watch and they actually LIKE it. And I no longer have to keep trying and failing to describe what a Dalek is). I also am now in possession of enough John Barrowman CDs and books to officially be considered nuts. And my parents surprised me with nice pair of Celtic-style earrings. They know me too well :D It's sort of strange for me to get all of this stuff. I mean, I am an only child and thus may be on the verge of being spoiled. But, in a shitty economy, it's weird to see that money - at least for my parents - isn't a problem (my own expenses, of course, is another story). My dad admits to denying things for years because they don't want to buy on credit, but rather be able to buy with the money they have in the bank. And now that they are growing older, they aren't as worried about splurging and going all out for Christmas. I don't have a new iPod or a new phone or anything like that (mainly because I don't WANT one). But I do have a lot of nice things my parents didn't have to get me that I could have lived without - but got anyway. I feel like our gifts have gotten more expensive, more refined... and I don't know what that means. Yes, my parents have a lot more money now than they did when we first moved to Minnesota. They have a lot more money this year than they did five years ago. And it's a weird sort of situation I'm not used to. I mean, I spent two years of my life in a mobile home while my dad was in grad school. We weren't poor; we just didn't want to spend money we didn't need to when we had a place to stay (the lake home which belonged to my grandmother) while my dad was in school. I guess money has been on my mind a lot this year because of different expenses associated with apartment living and learning what my family's income is and with the OWSers screaming for the 1% to share their assets. And I don't know where I fit in this picture anymore. As an independent student with a very low income, well-off parents and a simultaneous desirous yet tight-fisted nature, it's hard for me to know where I stand. But I'm totally digressing right now...
Of course, Christmas isn't all about the getting but also about the giving. Which, despite my stress about getting something fabulous for my parents, worked out easier than I thought it would. I got my dad a nice tie and a set of whisky glasses. And I got my mom some decorative throw pillows and a nice purse (from Macy's - I actually found an affordable, nice purse at Macy's. It made my life).
But overall, things just felt... Christmas-y this year. This time of year brings out the Anglophile in me (I blame being in London for New Years in my sophomore year of high school. And J.K Rowling. And the British just being epic when it comes to celebrating Christmas) and, considering my absorption of British culture, there was plenty of that around me this year. But even going to Christmas Eve mass stimulated it - they had a Renaissance choir that sang throughout the mass. And yet... it's more than just feeling like things are more picturesque for Christmas (despite the lack of snow). My attitude is better in general. I feel more forgiving, more hopeful. More me. And it's a great way to end the year. Yes, I've been grumpy and blue for the last few days because I've had four teeth ripped out of my head. But overall, I'm feeling good. A fantastic way to end a rather exciting but tumultuous year. Which reminds me, I should start making my list of New Year's resolutions - and this year, they are going to ROCK.
I love surprises. Absolutely love them. So when I came home from class on Thursday to find this box sitting on the table, I was giddy with delight.
Cupcakes!!!!! From the cafe Cupcake no less. I was sooooo happy. However, I soon realized that this was just the beginning of the gift finding. I walked into my room and was face-to-face with this:
There was a card with it, with a wonderfully sweet message from [Львица]. I began getting paranoid that something was going to jump out at me. So I looked in my closet and found this:
Cute t-shirt for the win! And then I closed the closet door to find this:
A Guinness poster - from Ireland! [Львица]'s father bought it there years ago and bequeathed it me. I owe you one, sir - I absolutely adore this. I thought that was it. Until I walked into the kitchen and found this on the fridge:
And then...
GUINNESS!!!!!!!!!!
My life was made - cupcakes, ample attractive pictures of the lovely John Barrowman, and Guinness. There is truly nothing more I need in life. Except that [Львица] seemed to disagree. Because as we were going out to dinner, I found two gift cards (and two more John Barrowman pics) taped to my coat and scarf - one for a cafe, one for a ice cream shop. Seriously, could it get better?
It did. I got gnocchi and calamari at Buca Di Beppos, had my first experience with restaurant waiters singing a birthday song to me (I felt so special!!!!). And when I got home, I nearly died laughing to find that I'd been carrying another gift in my purse the entire time - a mustache flask :D It was fantastic.
And then I found the last Guinness hiding in the medicine cabinet (the other had been with Mo's food and I'd discovered it before we went to dinner). Note to self - [Львица] is EXTREMELY GOOD at surprises and hiding things. It was a totally victory on her part and I much appreciate it. Thank you so much, m'dear - it really means a lot to me :)
It's not even my birthday yet and things are already fantastic. Looking forward to tomorrow - dinner with my parents and my first drink in an American bar. Epic win :D
[Львица] kindly reminded me today that it's only 10 days until my 21st birthday. Which I knew, but hadn't consciously been cognizant of. Which is a fancy way of saying, Holy fuck, it's nearly my birthday and I've been so busy trying not to think about it and get ridiculously over excited that I actually kind of forgot for a moment.
So yeah. 21 on November 19th. It's gonna be THE SHIT. Finally I can legally drink. Finally I can have that Guinness I've been longing to have at a pub ever since I left part of my soul in Glasgow. And finally, I can stop worrying about what people have got planned for me. Seriously, last year I got a secret cake and an epic Ewan McGregor card and a Trainspotting poster. It was pretty much ridiculously awesome. Today, I had to wait outside the apartment while [Львица] was telling her father about... whatever the gift is. And now I'm insanely curious. 10 days. And all shall be revealed.
This is Sid. And because of Sid, the fact that I can't sleep just got way less important. Seriously, I just heard Beirut on David Letterman, which was a nice perk. And then the first thing I see on The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson is Sid. Who is the best.
You see, Craig Ferguson for reasons unknown to me likes using puppets sometimes to start off his show. And Sid is my personal favorite. He looks cute, cuddly, and adorable. His voice apparently sounds a bit like David Beckham. And he's from South London and swears like a sailor. The paradoxical relationship between cute, cuddly toy and swearing, rabid creature is wonderful. Especially when you've just realized that lying in bed, staring at the ceiling and crying and feeling sorry for yourself is a waste of your time and, as it is conveniently 11:30 pm Central time, you might as well get up and watch your favorite show. And thus, my insomnia was rewarded by Sid. Thank you, Craig Ferguson and writers of CBS, for understanding my insomnia to a T. Even the theme song says it all...
You probably know this by now. Perhaps there is some essence of "dreamerism" that pervades my writing. Or because I write about the possibility of Nicholas Cage being a vampire without really addressing the point that vampires PROBABLY AREN'T REAL.
I'm also a Scorpio. I think being a dreamer is just a side effect.
Um... maybe we feign interest because we're daydreaming?
Anyway, point is, I have ridiculous hopes and expectations. Many of which I am my rational side and my dreamy side are constantly fighting over. And things get complicated.
I actually started blogging last summer (the summer before sophomore year) because I decided I wanted to try to get an internship on the Late Late Show. And I thought blogging would be a good way to build my resume. Except that blog kind of died out when school started up again AND I HAD TO BLOG FOR CLASS. It made me a better blogger (I hope) but it also kept me from doing personal writing for a while. And then I had the idea that I wanted to go for grad school for Cultural Studies.
And then I surrounded myself with grad students in a lecture about Hegel and realized that GRAD SCHOOL WOULD KILL ME. So I spent the rest of the year trying not to die (never take 18 credits that involve two night classes - EVER) - and I created this blog. Which is now being used for various nefarious purposes.
And then, after seeing Craig Ferguson live, I realized that I AM TOTALLY STUPID. I stopped thinking about the internship only because no one seemed to think it was possible, that no one seemed to believe I was able to do it (*cough, [X],* *cough, [novel killer]*). Would I like to work in television? I think so. Would I like to work for the funniest comedian in existence? Hell yes!
Do I have the right major for this sort of thing? Who cares! After dropping in at Radio K (which is as close to working for television as I'm going to get around here; not the same but the same general idea at least) I learned that half the volunteers are at least CSCL minors and I already ran into a few fellow psych majors. Do I have enough job experience? Well, thanks to this little run with the apartment, maybe so. Do I have any idea what L.A. is like? Fuck no.
Which is probably going to be my biggest problem.
I'm not the sort of person who ever dreamed of going to L.A. or running of to make it big in Hollywood. My yearning for fame always came from book writing. And music. And acting in the theater. Those sort of ridiculous things. Not Hollywood.
So it's strange for me, to say the least, to actually want to go to Hollywood now. Although it's not really the location - it's the show. It's so rare for me to find something that I really, really intensely like. I might be passionate, but only regarding a few selected things. Like 19th Regency romance novels. Stories involving life at sea. Scotland. Complicated psychological dramas that often involve sci-fi/fantasy themes. Things that I keep bringing up again and again and again... I mean, I like many things. But there are only a few certain things that I REALLY REALLY LIKE. Thus it probably is for most people.
Anyway, my long-winded point is, I am sometimes incredibly picky. Especially regarding humor. The fact that I can watch Craig Ferguson and that he always makes me laugh seem to be a sign that he is, at least, a demi-god.
Seriously, I love humor, it's like my favorite genre of... life - but I am SO PICKY. I'm one of those people who can sit in a theater and watch a comedic film and not laugh at anything (exactly how I felt when I saw Bridesmaids. But I'm wondering if that had to do with extenuating circumstances). I have watched George Lopez and David Letterman and not even smiled. Generally, I like Monty Python, but The Life of Brian just made me uncomfortable. Maybe because I was watching it with [hahahaha SHUT UP].
So it makes me really happy that the Late Late Show is something I: A) find funny, B) can relate to, C) is the most un-L.A. thing in L.A. and D) something I feel like I could be a part of. Thus, the impossible dream.
A little Broadway, a little Sinatra - FOR THE WIN.
Of course, there are some difficulties with this whole crazy plan:
1) The intership would have to happen next summer. Or I would have to decide to add an extra year of school - thus a five year degree. Which means more money spent on college.
2) I would have to make sure the U actually will allow me to get credit for this internship. Otherwise I can't do it.
3) I would have to have AN AMAZING RESUME AND NOT FUCKING GET NERVOUS AND MAKE MYSELF LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT.
4) I would probably have to learn how to drive, since transportation around L.A. sucks.
5) I would have to figure out where the hell I'd be staying in a town I've never been to.
Oh, yeah, and this....
6) I WOULD ACTUALLY HAVE TO GET THE BLOODY INTERNSHIP IN THE FIRST PLACE.
The requirements seem pretty loose; they don't make any mention of needing any previous experience in TV. But I have no idea what I'm competing against. Maybe all TV interns just want to go to the Daily Show or the Colbert Report and so it won't be as competitive as it could be. But then I think about all the kids who are majoring in communications - and all the ones who aren't - that would totally love to do this. AND I FEEL TOTALLY FUCKED.
But I am not giving up. NOT THIS TIME. I'm going to go for it. It's what I want to do - the only thing I really want to do, other than write and blog and watch movies and British TV shows and talk about hipster music. So what if it's a big mistake? I've got a lot more to make (thank you, Gossip Grows on Trees, for that awesome line. For that, I shall introduce you to Radio K).
To further my weird artistic tendencies, I've volunteered to work at Radio K, the campus radio station. Not sure what to expect, I rode the freight elevator up to the 6th floor of the theater building where station is located. The moment I walked in, I was surrounded by kind, smiling hipsters. Okay, I can't guarantee they were hipsters, but the seemed to be from that strain of college student. I got a tour from the guy who I'd emailed about volunteering, talked to the music director, and found myself recording short ads to be aired on the radio. Apparently, I read like a natural. And my Hoosier accent is detectable when I say "darling."
Volunteering was the BEST IDEA EVER. Less than an hour there, and I'm already loving it. It's like being in the movie Pirate Radio (and if you haven't seen this movie, WATCH IT). They have a great program called Culture Queue that I'd love to write for or report on. I can see myself now, becoming just like Studs Terkel... SWEET :D
Really, I joined because I NEED to find something on campus to get involved in. The CSCL association doesn't meet that often and there's just too many psych majors to feel like I belong over there. This is the perfect place to mix my three passions: music, culture, and under-appreciated art forms (in this case, college radio). Of course, it's a resume booster, which is always a plus. Especially due to another hair-brained idea that's returned to me. But more about that later.
My new obsession song. I just can't stop listening to it (even though it's been on my iPod for a month):
It reminds me of walking through a Glasgow night in the pouring rain. I don't know why exactly; I'm pretty sure I didn't hear it on the radio while across the pond (though she is British, I actually first heard this on SNL). Just a great song for a cold, blustery rainy day.
So this seems to be my new musical obsession, Fitz and the Tantrums "Don't Gotta Work It Out":
Live while cruising the canals of Amsterdam - what's not to like?
Seriously, I've had this song stuck in my head for days now. I love the sort of 70s mo-town vibe mixed with a sort of... je ne sais quai. 1940s jazz? Something like that. And this live a cappella version adds a nice unchained, sort of improv element to the piece. This is just one of those songs I could listen to again and again and again...
I keep sending this video to people and it's one of my favorite Broadway songs, if not THE favorite of mine. Plus it's John Barrowman, who I just mentioned in my previous post. And he's awesome. So here it is. Now that I've built it up to be the greatest thing ever, you'll probably be disappointed. Whoever you are, you silent judgmental voices of the world... Wow, that sounds creepier than I meant it too. Whatever, I'm going to shut up and let you enjoy this song.
Basically, this guy sums up how I feel about life, technology and so much other shit... except about a hundred times funnier than I can. I could probably say something about how this totally represents constant accumulation without pleasure, but sadly, I'm too exhausted from packing and getting ready to move into my new apartment, so I owe you a cultural commentary. Oh, and remind me of this video the next time I complain about Blogger, my phone or anything else that has to use outer space to work :D
Found this on another blog I follow: a formal apron, alla Jeeves and the kitchen staff of British estates. Just what I need to break in the kitchen at the new apartment and prove to myself I am more obsessed with looking like I just walked out of the Regency period in England than I thought. You can check out the website it's sold on here : http://www.vespoe.com/hotelofthings/shop/unisex-apron-formal-collar. You can judge me... starting now.
So like five minutes ago, I was talking about how, though [no-Mr-Darcy] was (redundantly) no Darcy, I did realize some things while falling for him. While he didn't stick around for my future, the positive things I realized did and I've decided that they should really have more of a part of my life because I really love these things about my self (cue Adam Lambert, happy peppy theme music and an interview with Oprah). I know this sounds tacky - because it is - but fuck it, I'm going to start keeping a list of things that I feel good about, because: 1) Life is short, 2) Culture is everywhere - even in my hobbies and weird traits, and 3) Don't I deserve the best? (For some reason, that line came out as Gaston saying it in Beauty and the Beast. Don't know why, but as I don't actually a have a 3), I'm keeping it). This is an incomplete list - in fact, this probably won't even be a list, just one thing that I'll blabber on about for a long time, and I'll have to talk about the rest some other time. So bear with me - it's a work in progress ;)
1) Birds: I rock at ornithology. If there's a bird in my backyard, and my parents don't know what it is, I can come up with an answer fast. Probably because I spent most of my youth looking at books about animals and flipping through a book on birds from Minnesota. But hey, biology and stuff about animals was my strongest part of science - let me gloat! (really, science not so much my strong point, no thanks to some of my teachers, so let me brag a little) I'm particulary happy because we've encountered this strange genetic mutation of a duck that's the size of a goose and has the loudest "quack" I've ever heard. Also, he really likes eating peanuts. I decided to name him the Admiral, and as my mom says, "His loud quack sounds like he is always barking orders," the name stuck.
the Admiral, in all his quackish glory
2) Pirate spy: so for reasons that I can discuss later, I have this urge to be a pirate. Except that I know that [Львица] is interested in spying. So I was talking to my mom and created the occupation of pirate spy - people who look like they're just running amok, causing pirating chaos (I mean pirating like Jack Sparrow pirates, not stealing music, by the way) but are actually secretly spying on people. Expect it to be an action movie - right after I star in "Nazi Vampire Hunter."
Yep, going to cut myself off there. I didn't actually think this title would have anything to do with the blog, but it does. It was actually me misremember a lyric from The Gaslight Anthem's "She loves you" - they say something like "if I could navigate your seas" but I was singing something in my head about liberating dreams. And I like that idea, of digging up all the zany dreamy things I like about myself and setting them free. So what do you know - I'm being deeper than I thought. Win :D
