1) I want to kill an individual.
2) I want to kill an individual who is fictional.
Which, ultimately, brings me to a third problem:
3) I am jealous of a fictional individual.
I should explain. Diana Villiers is a character in Patrick O'Brian's Aubrey/Maturin series (aka, the series that the movie Master and Commander is based on). Diana is a fascinating character, especially given the time period she inhabits. She's a short, dark-haired smartass who goes horseback riding and fox hunting, plays the piano even though she can't read music and won't listen to her aunt's plans for her life. She grew up in India, fell passionately in love with a man who did not make a "profitable" match, but whom she married none the less. After he died, she returned to England, a black sheep in her family of gentle lambs. Needless to say, I love this maniac. She's the sort of character I've been dying to see in Regency era novels ever since I first met Elizabeth Bennet. Don't get me wrong, Jane Austen's Elizabeth is fabulous; I like her a lot. But I always longed for a character that incorporated both Elizabeth's free-thinking and Emma Woodhouse's sharp tongue. With Diana, I get the perfect match. Which, interestingly, creates the sort of girl I try to be.
You see, Diana is incredibly free-thinking for her time. She's smart, she's witty, she's got a great sense of humor. She's talkative and she likes hanging out with men. She will only marry a man she thinks is her equal. Of course, she has her downfalls. Her cousin Sophie doesn't think she understands love at all. And Sophie's totally right. Especially considering how Diana treats her would-be romantic interest, Dr. Stephen Maturin.
I have a soft spot for Stephen. He's become my favorite fictional character, tied only with my life long favorite Mr. Rochester (and that's saying something, let me tell you). It certainly helps that, in the movie, Maturin is played by the lovable Paul Bettany (whom I have already confessed to being star-struck for). But, besides this, Maturin reminds me also of who I am and, at times, who I want to be - socially awkward, a bit dreamy and introverted, a Catholic, obsessed with animals, intelligent, and an overall man of the Enlightenment. But he's just so sweet in the novels - so charming and clever. Along with being a doctor for the Navy, Maturin is also a naturalist and a spy. A SPY. Damn near as close as you can get to perfection, I swear. But for some inexplicable reason, Diana decides to fuck with him.
Even though Stephen CLEARLY totally loves this woman, she tells him he's "just a friend" and she wouldn't marry him. So she does the totally horrific thing of schmoozing with Jack Aubrey, Stephen's best friend and bro, because he's the "better catch." Stephen isn't exactly the ideal husband according to Regency politics, unfortunately - he's Catholic, he's Irish, and he's "somebody's natural son" - meaning he's illegitimate, the offspring of an Irish soldier and a Catalan woman. Diana then breaks both Stephen and Jack's heart and runs off to India with a mutual friend of theirs, Richard Canning, a wealthy married Jewish merchant. Fortunately, Stephen and Jack remain friends and their bromance continues, with no hard feelings. Except that Jack now totally hates Diana and Stephen is utterly heart-broken and brooding, causing me to want to punch Diana in the face. Seriously, you did that to him? You bitch, I was fuming at the end of Post-Captain. But she was just so much fun and likable despite her tendency to sleep around and her cruelty that I still hoped for things to work out.
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| All he needs is a hug... |
Thus, I want to kill Diana for dumping the sweetest guy TWICE. Except, here's the problem. I sort of understanding where she's coming from. She feels like Maturin could do so much better, but she also cares about him. So she keeps flip-flopping because, well, being in love makes everything weird. She's ostracized from her family for being a free-spirit, her reputation is ruined because she's sort of a slut, and she doesn't seem to believe that Stephen would actually love someone like her. I feel for her because, in a woman's worst moments, I think we all feel this way. Maybe she's just scared of true love, so she keeps running away, afraid that if she does agree to marry Stephen and he changes his mind, she'll never be able to deal with the rejection. Thus she'd rather stop now before her heart breaks beyond repair. She runs off with other men because she has no way to support herself - so in a sort of prostitution, Diana hands herself off from man to man in order to live the life she wants. By becoming a feminist, she subjects herself to men. What a twisted mess.
Of course, if she'd just marry Stephen, it seems like she would be able to solve all of her problems. But that would be too simple. And she'd have to give up her freedom and admit her true feelings and totally put everything on the line. The more I think about this, the more I understand Diana - and the worse I feel for Stephen. Because I feel like I've acted like Diana (well, minus the sleeping around bits) in the past. Not to anyone in particular, of course. But her sentiments and worries about love are certainly familiar.
Her issues with trying to be a free woman are also interesting. I've often wondered what the line is between being a free bitch, baby (thank you, thank you, thank you Lady Gaga for that fabulous phrase) and being a slut. It doesn't help that women are treated different than men. Men who sleep around are men. Women who sleep around are sluts. This is still difficult to overcome even today, let alone in 1800s England. So the fact that Diana does whatever the fuck she wants is sort of admirable - and heartbreaking. Because she does whatever the fuck she wants, she's hurt Stephen. But he admires her for all of that. Even though he's totally devastated. Dear God, this is terrifyingly real.
Thanks to Wikipedia, I now know that they will eventually end up together (thanks for ruining it, internet!) Then again, I'm sort of glad I know because the whole thing was killing me this morning. I mean, I was shaking my fists and having a fit like two of my best friends had just have a fight (which should give you a pretty good idea of how ridiculously attached I am to these books). Of course, the issue is now WHEN and HOW. Because there's 21 of these books. And I have to go back to school in two weeks - which means no more free-time. And, also because these books are so complex, this subplot was totally cut out from the movie. So I can't even get any consolation from watching the film. And my stupid horoscope was no help today: "Your reputation could be at risk, and you need to pay more attention to partnership matters. The moon's transit this evening warns that poor judgement could affect your cash flow negatively." And in addition to that: "This is a time where whether you are single or attached, relationships of all kinds can get a bit weird right now or at least take an unexpected turn. The need for more freedom, independence, or novelty on you part, or on the part of someone close to you, may disrupt the status quo in an important relationship. Expect the unexpected in your relationships, which always works well for you, but don't think too much into any one experience, or you will find yourself thinking yourself out of it before you know it." I hope horoscopes are full of shit because that's just too weird. But then again, the stuff they say about Scorpios is sometimes way too similar to my frame of mind.
If Diana Villiers is a Scorpio, I'm going to punch someone.
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| Diana Villiers? Well, fuck me... |
Diana didn't know if Steven was going to survive. She hadn't seen him in 6 months and spent all that time on the Lushington with Mr. Johnstone. Steven was gravely, gravely wounded the last time she saw him. Could she really risk losing Johnstone for Steven, who she certainly adored as a friend and companion but maybe not as a husband or lover, and who might be dead anyway? And would Steven not resent her ultimately? The whole navy knew she was ****ing Jack in Post Captain, and Steven certainly knew it. Plus the whole affair with Canning that was news in the entire English world.
ReplyDeleteDiana finds herself in India, alone basically. She knows everyone is judging her and talking about her behind her back. This was not how she expected India to be (remember, she was miserable in England, her happiest days were in India, hence she wanted to return with Canning). Steven shows up, as something of a miracle, and rescues her from her misery. He's playing the part of the knight coming to rescue the princess from the dragon's lair. And his love is so strong and true, despite everything. I can't imagine how happy Steven must have been when she kissed him goodbye, her tears falling on his face. And she did not think that she was worthy of that love. He's wonderful and she doesn't deserve him and yet he ADORES her. Scary.