So I found this article on Sunday (couldn't ask for better timing, really) and I felt like sharing it: Pope Tells Pilgrims to Stay True to Their Beliefs
This is the part where I get to blabber about my "Catholic upbringing." I was baptized, went to Catholic school (three different schools, to be exact) from pre-school through half of fifth grade, went through First Communion and First Reconciliation (or First Confession as it used to be called) and went to church nearly every Sunday until sometime during fifth or sixth grade. I cried the first time I said "hell" as a curse and was terrified that I would be in some sort of huge trouble for it. I wore uniforms. I loves singing church songs. I probably wanted to be a saint.
I am now not-very-Catholic-at-all. It's still a core part of my life, or at least my background - I mean, when people have questions about Catholicism, they often (foolishly) turn to me for answers (please don't ask me to explain how Holy Communion works. I learned the hard way that my brain somehow adhered to the Lutheran doctrine, not Catholic. Oops). When it comes to Christmas and Easter each year, I long to go to church, even though when I attend, I feel awkward and a bit too... well, "Cafeteria Catholic" to use the only phrase that comes to mind. It would be easy for me to say that being in a secular school (aka public school) made me "less Catholic" but that's not true. It was switching to a new church in a new state with a totally different outlook on faith. But I did meet people, for the first time in my life, who were NOT Catholic. I learned who Jews were (seriously, I had NO idea they existed until 7th grade. I am not kidding. That might have been an epic fail on my part though, so don't blame the schools yet...) And I started to think about how maybe there could be more than one right answer to how to practice religion. I could prattle on about this forever, but it'll have to wait - more explanation some other time, when it's not a total tangent.
I bring this up because what Pope Benedict XVI is saying surprisingly makes some sense to me, at least to an extent. "Swimming against the tide" I think really exemplifies how a lot of Catholics feel today. No one wants to talk about how the Church might need an giant update, especially on issues concerning chastity with priests, women, homosexuals, church membership, marriage and divorce, teenagers... the list goes on and on and on. So you end up kind of outcast, talking about issue from a very different standpoint than many people do (example: condom use and birth control, still a HUGE issue in the Church). Admittedly, it's a headache, trying to take on so much at once. Other institutions have changed over time, adapting slowly to how the world has changed around them. The Catholic Church has certainly changed, but at its core, it's remained pretty steadfast. Yes, Vatican II updated things but overall, doctrine has stayed basically the same since... I don't know my history that well, probably post-Reformation? I mean, the pope said to those present in Spain that they “will be swimming against the tide in a society with a relativistic culture, which wishes neither to seek nor hold on to the truth.”
Yikes... this is the part where I get REALLY concerned and conflicted. On one hand, I respect the Church for staying so steadfast, for not giving in to every little whim and getting all convoluted with changes that may not be for the better. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. I love that prayers that have been used for centuries and Latin hymns are still in use for mass. However, HOWEVER, there are things the Church MIGHT want to acknowledge. Like the fact that the number of men going into the priesthood is pretty low. And that there are plenty who'd be willing - if they could just get married like ministers in other denominations. And then there's women who are willing to serve as priests (some already are, though they aren't technically recognized by the Vatican; this hits close to home, especially considering this article: Burnsville Woman Ordained As Priest) And the whole issue with homosexuality... it makes a girl want to scream.
Lemme say right now, I may not be a practicing Catholic anymore, I may not REALLY be a Catholic at all to some people's opinion, I may identify as a reverent agnostic because it's just simpler than explaining I'd really love to be both Catholic and Jewish, but they conflict so... well, it's complicated - but I am still, deep-down, pretty religious. Maybe not in the sort of way that's typical, like going to church and praying a lot. But it's still really important to me. So this whole thing is a big deal. I just worry that the Church is going to totally marginalize themselves, refuse to change and thus become some sort of relic of the past. Some already think of religion as something we needed in the past, but we don't need it any more because we have science now, or because we're "more civilized" or because we understand life better. I've even met someone who hates how much religion is focused on in history and who refused to marry someone who would force "religious doctrine" onto their children (stupidly, I ignored it at the time, but I should have payed more attention to what he's saying. Especially as this argument keeps resurfacing in my mind... and it's getting really fucking annoying).
Of course, I certainly don't have any answers. I'm just a critical, obnoxious blogger. But to me, religion is an important part of society. Yes, we have science and yes, we have a lot more answers than we had before. But there are still questions, and religion at it's best can be a great comfort. It's a source of community, friendship and trust. At it's best, of course. That's not to say many religious institutions don't have problems. The Catholic Church has plenty of problems, with no easy way to fix them. The question of course lies between what sorts of change would strengthen the Church and which would change it entirely. Is a colossal change that would change the entire institution that people have known for centuries for the best? I don't know. But what if the tide they're swimming against is actually the path of truth?
And so it begins...
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