This requires some explaining.
Okay, so it wasn't really that bad. But I'm sure [Львица] would tell me that's rosy retrospection talking. And she'd be right.
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| It kind of felt like this... |
Last year, [Львица], [mind ninja] and I were invited up to [X]'s college for an event they call Zombie prom. Now, this was in the far distant past of sophomore year (oh, how ridiculously over-dramatic I sound) before I went to Scotland, so I didn't know [No-Mr-Darcy], [bromandawg] or any of them yet.
We went up there, hoping to hang out with [X] and [shortage of perfect breasts] (who had just transferred there the spring before) and [the artist]. However, [X] and [shortage of perfect breasts], who were roommates that year, were staying in the dorms while [the artist] was living in a campus apartment. So [Львица] and [mind ninja] stayed with [the artist] while I made camp in [shortage of perfect breasts] and [X]'s room.
Things started out... awkward. On the drive up, we realized we had to stop for food because no one was going to feed us when we got there. Also, it was a struggle to figure out who was supposed to meet us when we got there because [X] was working, which I conveniently didn't know 'til we arrived. Two of our other friends from high school, [tiny dancer] and [wolf woman], were there, but I discovered that they were only staying for the night, not the weekend as we'd planned. And then, once things got started, well...
Pretty much like that. [X] got off work and we went down to the common area of the dorm floor where everyone was getting dressed up for the dance (Zombie prom). Everyone was dressed like zombies except for two of us, [tiny dancer] and me, as we were going as zombie hunters of sorts. I sort of knew some of the people at the school I'd been there once the year before (though not in the best of humors). However, when [Львица] and [mind ninja] arrived with [the artist] from the apartment, they'd never been there before and didn't know anyone. Instead of getting an introduction, [X] just scandalized their costumes and basically insinuated that they were her "whore friends from the Cities." I then got lumped into that category for wearing a corset. [X] was probably trying to lighten the situation (because her mind was totally preoccupied with other things, namely a boy she was trying to impress) but it was a very poor way of doing it. Needless today, [mind ninja] and [Львица] were not happy. AT ALL.
Thirty minutes of trying to get people assembled for photos ended somewhat successfully and we finally headed over to the dance. They had food there, which was nice, and the decorations were pretty cool (fog machine was a plus). The music was good as long as the DJ played but then some wretched local band started playing and everyone stopped dancing and felt miserable. [X] continually remarked on how scantily dressed [mind ninja] and [Львица] were and how shockingly they were dancing. And then would dance exactly they way they were. Which is how people dance these days. Right. She would later tell me how the "freshman" on campus were shocked by how my two friends were dressed and how "a bunch of people thought they were lesbians." Uh-huh. Girlfriend, I don't buy that the "freshman" at your school are that innocent. The ones at mine sure as hell aren't. Also, they were not the only girls dancing together. There seemed to be a dearth of men at that dance. I for one know I only danced with one man. And he was awkward and uber-gay (not to be confused with the person [uber gay]. He does not make an appearance in this story. Sorry).
After the dance, we went back to the dorm and got ready for bed, where I was interrogated by [X] for information about [mind ninja]'s happiness. This is a thing [X] does - she always thinks [mind ninja] is on the verge of a meltdown, but will never ask actually ask [mind ninja] how she's doing; no, she'll ask everyone else instead. There are various reasons for this, none of them good enough, and it puts me in an awkward position.
I spent the night sleeping fitfully on the floor, heard [wolf woman] and [tiny dancer] leave insanely early the next morning and woke before everyone else, took a shower, and spent the morning waiting in the dorm lounge with [shortage of perfect breasts] for everyone else to wake up. Apparently they breakfasted in a group and if you left someone behind without waking them, it was bad news. Right.
I spent almost all day reading a book and trying to get someone to lend me Avatar so I could do my homework for my intro CSCL class. It was like pulling teeth to get that movie because no matter how many times I mentioned needing to borrow it, I couldn't get [X] or [shortage of perfect breasts] to find out if anyone in their dorm had it. Eventually, [the artist], [mind ninja] and [Львица] came over from the apartment to visit. They were all totally ignored. Even [the artist] WHO GOES TO SCHOOL THERE. Embarrassed for them, I decided to ditch the boredom in the lounge and go hang out with them in the apartment. I was able to get my hands on Avatar which dear dear [the artist] owned and watched the clip I needed. We then watched O Brother Where Art Thou? and preceded to go out to dinner. Without [X] who apparently had made plans to go see Paranormal Activity 2 in a city an hour from their campus several weeks before. Even though we'd planned to come up for Halloween FOR MONTHS. I didn't persuade her not to go, even though she kept asking if she was making a mistake or ditching us. If she had to ask what was the right decision, she clearly couldn't see what she was doing wrong, what she'd done wrong the whole weekend. She kept asking if we were bored or if we had fun. But not the sort like, "I want to make sure you're doing okay." It was more like, "Am I making myself look bad in your eyes right now?"
It is much harder to express how you're doing when the person asking is actually asking about themselves. So I lied. I said I was fine, that yes, I understood that maybe it wasn't the best weekend to come up, that it was okay that there wasn't that much to do at their school. I didn't say that I was bored and lonely and felt deserted, that I felt they (they being [shortage of perfect breasts] and [X]; [the artist] did fine taking care of [mind ninja] and [Львица], God I wish I had stayed with her) hadn't prepared for us to come, that it didn't seem they'd cared that we'd come at all. For this lie I am still paying the price - maybe if I'd been honest, things wouldn't have gotten weird. Unlikely, but I can dream.
They showed Rocky Horror Picture Show that night, though before hand we were going to a "haunted house" that had been set up in one of the buildings. According to [X], someone has died on every building on their campus which is really what I wanted to hear, standing in the dark and freezing cold waiting to go into a Halloween haunted house (which I loathe doing, by the way) on Halloween. On a campus that used to be an Indian boarding school run by the Catholic Church. Yeah, think it's haunted? (Seriously, every time I go there, maybe it's more the people I'm around and the events that occur, but I always feel seriously freaked out there. Something just feels wrong about that campus.). Fortunately the line was too long to go in before Rocky Horror started so we just went to the show instead. Afterwards, I chatted with [Львица] and [mind ninja] a bit and then we went our separate ways to our respective boardings. I stood in the dorm lounge for half an hour, watching people talk to each other and getting angrier and angrier as I was totally ignored. Finally, I got [X] to take me up to her room and she asked me if I was okay. I got a little angry, saying I didn't feel well and just wanted to go to bed. [shortage of perfect breasts] and [X] told me to feel better and that they would be down in the lounge if I needed anything. They left and I proceeded to have a little cry.
I actually never told anyone that, that I cried in their dorm room. It wasn't much, a few angry tears, a few pissed-off sobs, and an exasperated sigh as I went to bed. But I was furious. I had been ignored, for an entire weekend. My friends and I had been treated like crap. And all we were getting were bad apologies for it. I was again the first up the next morning and [shortage of perfect breasts] tried to get [X] up - except that she had gone to Alexandria with two friends (who were apparently high or drunk or something) at two in the morning. So she was in bed most of that day. Fortunately, I was planning on attending the party [the artist]'s roommate was holding so once we went to that, us ladies from the Cities decided to head home.
I have not been back up to their school since and, despite claims that I've made about returning, I doubt I will. I really shouldn't. Not after that. And now, suddenly, [X] has gotten wind that [Львица] and [mind ninja] were upset by her comments about their costumes. And NOW she wants to apologize. Except that she hasn't, she doesn't know how, she doesn't understand WHY they're upset. And I have no feasible way of explaining all of this. This, I am stuck at the Jon Stewart face palm stage. All I know is, Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. And I desperately need to get away all of the ridiculousness from last year. I don't want to cast blame, I don't want to spread rumors, I just want to straighten things out and MOVE ON. It was a year ago. It shouldn't be my problem, it's not my problem. What happened happened, and I'm not to blame. So, now that I've confessed all to the gods of the Internet, I am letting it go. Time to think about this year. But moral of the story: if you are going to invite your friends anywhere for anything, make sure you mean it first. Seriously. This is WHAT NOT TO DO. This has been a PSA announcement, CBS cares.If you're still reading this by now, I owe you a coffee.
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